Somewhere in a prison in Ephesus ...

[Somewhere in a prison in Ephesus]

 

Paul: “Epaphroditus, I’m responding to the wonderful gift you brought from the church in Philippi. Could you please check this for any typos?”

 

Epaphroditus: “Did you mean τύπος?”

 

Paul: “What?”

 

Epaphroditus: “Never mind. Certainly, I’ll look it over.”

 

[begins reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “So far so good.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Wait. ‘πολλῷ γὰρ μᾶλλον κρεῖσσον.’ That’s laying it on a bit thick, isn’t it?”

 

Paul: “You think I should tone it down a bit?”

 

Epaphroditus: (deliberating) “Uh … Nah. Go ahead and leave it like that.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “A lot about of suffering in here. You should mention my illness.”

 

Paul: “I do. Keep reading.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Ah”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “And joy. Good.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Hmmm. Wow. Yes, that poem you added beginning with ‘τοῦτο φρονεῖτε ἐν ὑμῖν ὃ καὶ ἐν Χριστῷ Ἰησοῦ’ – that’s quite brilliant right there.”

 

Paul: “I’m quite pleased with that part myself.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: ‘πᾶν γόνυ κάμψῃ … πᾶσα γλῶσσα ἐξομολογήσηται.’ Ah, you’re quoting that verse from Isaiah about God. And you’re applying it directly to Jesus. Just like you inserted Jesus into the Shema in your second letter to the church in Corinth. Yeah, that’s good stuff.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “‘μετὰ φόβου καὶ τρόμου τὴν ἑαυτῶν σωτηρίαν κατεργάζεσθε  θεὸς γάρ ἐστιν ὁ ἐνεργῶν ἐν ὑμῖν καὶ τὸ θέλειν καὶ τὸ ἐνεργεῖν ὑπὲρ τῆς εὐδοκίας.’ Oh, that’s gold there, Paul. That does sound a bit like James the Just though.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Oh, here’s the bit about me.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Why thank you, Paul!”

 

Paul: “Don’t mention it.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Though you could mention here that I almost died.”

 

Paul: “I mention it below. Keep reading.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Ah, yes. Still, mention it again. Tell them my life was in danger.”

 

Paul: “If you so wish.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Woa! ‘βλέπετε τοὺς κύνας βλέπετε τοὺς κακοὺς ἐργάτας βλέπετε τὴν κατατομήν.’ That’s a bit rough, don’t you think?”

 

Paul: “I’m not changing it.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “I didn’t know you were from the tribe of Benjamin. Is it true you’re all left-handed?”

 

Paul: “Actually, I was born left-handed but my rabbi forced me to write with my other hand. That’s why my handwriting is so poor.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Yes …”

 

Paul: “And it doesn’t help that my eyesight is bad.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Such large lettering. You really should just dictate this to Tertius. Just sign your name at the end.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Woa! Woa, woa!! Paul! You can’t say σκύβαλα.”

 

Paul: “Well, why not?”

 

Epaphroditus: “Because … because this is supposed to be read out loud in church. I’m the one who’s going to have to read this to them. You’re going to shock the old ladies …”

 

Paul: “The shock value is the point.”

 

Epaphroditus: “… the youth on the back row will be snickering …”

 

Paul: “I was inspired to write that.”

 

Epaphroditus: “I really urge you to consider changing it.”

 

Paul: “I’m not changing it.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Paul …”

 

Paul: “I’m going to assert my apostleship here.”

 

Epaphroditus: “I’m an apostle, too!”

 

Paul: “I’ve seen the risen Christ.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Fine!”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Hmm. A lot more in here about suffering and humbleness. That’s all good.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “And the resurrection. Good.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Hmm. You’re handwriting really is bad, isn’t it? Is that ‘τό αυτό φρονείν’ or ‘τῷ αὐτῷ στοιχεῖν’ or …?”

 

Paul: “τῷ αὐτῷ στοιχεῖν.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Ah, yes.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “Oh, wait. You’re connecting one’s present suffering and humbleness with that of Christ’s and then his resurrection and then, therefore, our eventual resurrection and the glory of a race well run … We’re supposed to imitate you because you’re imitating Christ … I gotcha. I see what you’re doing here.”

 

[continues reading]

 

Epaphroditus: “‘ὥστε ἀδελφοί μου ἀγαπητοὶ καὶ ἐπιπόθητοι χαρὰ καὶ στέφανός μου.’ That’s quite lovely, Paul. Quite sweet.”

 

Paul: “It comes from the heart.”

 

Epaphroditus: “Well, this all looks pretty good – apart from the obvious σκύβαλα – so make whatever corrections you wish. [Calling to the guards] Alright, let me out! [To Paul] I’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

Paul: “The grace of the Lord Jesus, the Messiah, be with your spirit.”