Somewhere at a Bible Translation Society …

TEXTUAL CRITIC #1: “So how is your part of the translation going? What are you working on today?”

 

TC #2: “Well you may ask. You remember that poetic passage in the Old Testament that talks about creation itself bringing glory to God and how the very trees applaud the Lord?”

 

TC #1: “Of course.”

 

TC #2: “Well, I was reading the Masoretic text (circa 700s CE) and the Hebrew reads, ‘the trees clap hams for the Lord.’”

 

TC #1: (Pause) “’The trees clap hams?’”

 

TC #2: “’The trees clap hams.’”

 

TC #1: “Let me see that.” (Reads) “’The trees clap hams.’ Yep.”

 

TC #2: “Yep.”

 

TC #1: “Seems rather odd, doesn’t it?”

 

TC #2: “Well, it’s a poetic metaphor; it’s not to be taken literally.”

 

TC #1: “Granted, but the metaphor must maintain consistent internal sense in order to properly convey the appropriate theological concept. The smacking together of pork products is not generally considered a traditional form of showing praise – particularly Jewish praise.”

 

TC #2: “Ah. I see your point. Still, who are we to argue with unanimous attestation?”

 

TC #1: “Oh? Why, is the verse quoted or paraphrased anywhere in the New Testament?”

 

TC #2: “Negative.”

 

TC #1: “What about Philo, Josephus, the Talmud, the Targums, the Rabbinic traditions?”

 

TC #2: “Ah ha! They all say ‘clap hams.’ Though the strained explanations of its meaning amongst the rabbis vary wildly. Indeed, Maimonides, employing apophatic theology, thought ‘ham’ was just a negative attribution for ‘poultry.’”

 

TC #1: “What about the early church fathers? The Vulgate?”

 

TC #2: “Again, all unanimous in the attestation of ‘hams.’ And, just like the rabbinic literature, the allegorical interpretations of the Alexandrian school for ‘ham’ are legion. Naturally, Origen takes it to the extreme and quotes Jesus as saying, ‘If thy ham offends thee, cut it off.’”

 

TC #1: “Hmm. Even so, I still go back to the idea that the slapping of meat is not a customary form of demonstrating appreciation – at least amongst the Israelites.”

 

TC #2: “Perhaps it’s a haporx legomenon.”

 

TC #1: “Perhaps. Or perhaps … You know, the Hebrew ‘m’ and the Hebrew ‘n’ are quite similar letters. And the Hebrew word for ‘ham’ is quite close to the Hebrew word for ‘hand’. And seeing how it’s usually been more common to show approval by clapping hands rather than slamming together bits of swine …”

 

TC #2: “I think I see where you’re going with this.”

 

TC #1: “… it’s quite possible some ancient scribe erred in his transmission of a copy of the original text and wrote ‘hams’ where he should have written ‘hands.’”

 

TC #2: “Yes, I do see your argument.” (Pause) “Still, with such unanimous multiple attestations to ‘ham’ in near contemporaneous sources …”

 

TC # 3: (Approaching) “I just got back from looking at the Septuagint (circa 200 BCE). It reads ‘clap hams.’”

 

TC #1: “What?”

 

TC #2: “There you have it.”

 

TC #1: “Really? In the Greek?”

 

TC #4: (Approaching) “Not so fast! I just got back from the neighboring Jewish seminary …”

 

TC #2: “Good.”

 

TC #4: “… and I read their copy of the Samaritan Pentateuch (circa 200 BCE) …”

 

TC #1: “Good, yes.”

 

TC #4: “… and it reads ‘clap hands.’”

 

TC #2: “Huh.”

 

TC #1: “Huh.”

 

ALL: “Hmm.”

 

TC #2: “Bit of a textual stalemate, isn’t it?”

 

TC #5: (running up breathlessly) “Right. I just got through reading the Dead Sea Scrolls (circa 400 BCE) …”

 

TC #1: “Good.”

 

TC #2: “What, all of them?”

 

TC #5: “… and according to 4Q Pentateuch, 3Q Pentatuech Pesher, 6Q Pseudo-Enoch, and 4Q Aramaic War Pigs Scroll, they are unanimous: ‘The trees clap hands.’”

 

TC #1: “And there you have it.”

 

TC #2: “It’s conclusive.”

 

TC #1: “Hands.”

 

TC #3: “No doubt.”

 

TC #2: “No question. Hands down.”

 

TC #1: “Okay, now that we have definitely established that the Holy Spirit inspired the ancient prophet to write ‘claps hands’, let me remind you that we are producing this translation for a non-charismatic denomination that believes clapping hands to music in a worship service is worldly behavior. Therefore, I recommend we translate this verse as ‘The trees clap hens’ but add a footnote that reads ‘Many manuscripts read “hands.”’ A negative attribution. All in favor?”

 

ALL: (Hands up) “Aye!”

 

TC #1: “Consensus reached. Unanimous attestation.”