"Thinking Eternally, Acting Locally." - Neal August
The Top Ten
Brainwashed - George Harrison
Demon Days - Gorillaz
Fear of Music - Talking Heads
Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
A Ghost is Born - Wilco
The Good, the Bad, and the Queen
I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinéad O'Connor
Low - David Bowie
Their Satanic Majesties Request - The Rolling Stones
Transformer - Lou Reed
The Other 40
Absolutely Free – Frank Zappa
Absolution - Muse
Acquiring the Taste – Gentle Giant
The Basement Tapes - Bob Dylan and the Band
Billion Dollar Babies - Alice Cooper
The Black and White Album – The Hives
Blur - Blur
Bringing It All Back Home – Bob Dylan
Chávez Ravine – Ry Cooder
Dear Catastrophe Waitress - Belle and Sebastian
Desire – Bob Dylan
Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!! – Nick Cave
Dust - Screaming Trees
Everything That Happens Will Happen Today - Brian Eno and David Byrne
Gasoline Alley - Rod Stewart
Gaucho - Steely Dan
Good God’s Urge – Poro for Pyros
The Grand Wazoo - Frank Zappa
Greatest Hits - Blondie
Greatest Hits – Duran Duran
H.A.A.R.P. Lively from Wembley - Muse
Hampton Comes Alive - Phish
In the Court of the Crimson King - King Crimson
It Is Time For a Love Revolution – Lenny Kravitz
Journey to the Center of the Earth - Rick Wakeman
Live at Madison Square Garden New Year’s Eve 1995 - Phish
Live Frogs Set 2 - Les Claypool
Loaded - The Velvet Underground
Music from Big Pink - The Band
Mystery White Boy, Live ’95-’96 – Jeff Buckley
A Night at the Opera - Queen
Pink Flag - Wire
Raw Power - The Stooges
Reload - Metallica
Remain in Light - Talking Heads
Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young
Seal (1994) - Seal
Speaking in Tongues – Talking Heads
Time on Earth - Crowded House
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
THE WORST MOVIES EVER MADE
When we speak of “worst movies ever made” we usually refer to three types of films:
1) A film for which the production and marketing costs greatly exceeded the revenue retained by the movie studio, i.e., it didn’t make squash at the box office.
2) A big-billed film with all the necessary ingredients that make a great film (director, cast, producers, studio, special FX, screenplay, sweeping music score, big budget, and marketing) except one: entertainment.
3) A film that is so ghastly ... (shudder), (cringe), and (“I’d walk out of that movie on an airplane!”)
This is the general groupings that I’ve maintained for my collection. And, of course, some of these films fulfill two or more of the three types. Granted not everyone will agree with all of my choices, but most will agree with most of my choices.
Some of these films I only saw by watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 abbreviated MST3K. These films will be noted by the following: [MST3K]
However, there are a few films on this list which I have seen and which are generally considered to be bad for one reason or other, but which I believe are really great. Naturally, I shall point these out.
1941 – Steven Spielberg’s contribution to the end of New Hollywood.
3000 Miles to Graceland – All I say is that it stars Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell, thus the title speaks for itself. ... Soundtrack by Paul Simon.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen – This is a fabulous film beset with disasters from day one. It nearly ruined Terry Gilliam’s film career and became the second in a long line of unfortunate film troubles. But The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus comes out Christmas Day!!!
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane – I only saw one scene. Woof.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash – Texas Ranger
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert – I have the lunch box!
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn – Irony upon irony upon irony ...
Alexander – "Beware of windfallen apples and of men whose eyebrows meet".
All the King's Men – Michael Medved: a "pointless, pretentious, plodding period-piece" of ...
Alone in the Dark – A Video Game with Christian Slater.
Antichrist – Now William Dafoe has played Christ and Anti-Christ.
Are You Being Served?: The Movie – I love the TV show too much to ever watch the film.
Armageddon – Why did Bruce Willis have to die? Why is it never Ben Affleck?
Around the World in 80 Days (2004) – The last step in Arnold's diabolical plan to become governor of Calli-furn-ya
The Avengers – Montezuma’s Avenge
Baby Geniuses – Well, at least no one wanted to make a sequel.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever – With a name like that, how could they have failed?
B*A*P*S – I knew when I watch The Flintstone Movie and saw Halle Berry play a character named “Sharon Stone” that no good was to come from this “actress”. This film confirmed it.
Barb Wire – It’s not just Pamela Anderson in an action movie ... it’s a remake of Casablanca. I swear!
Basic Instinct – The film that made Sharon Stone ... whatever.
Basic Instinct 2 – Like I’d ever want to watch this.
Batman and Robin – I probably must thank this film for ending my desire to watch any film I knew wasn’t good. Every line was a bad pun or cliché. How is it that these actors can read a script and not realize that the film is going to be absolutely gawdawful?
Battlefield Earth - “If John Travolta can fly an airplane, how hard can it be?” – Barry B. Benson, Bee Movie
The Blue Bird (1976) – Even Shirley Temple’s version of 1940 wasn’t as bad as this.
The Blue Lagoon – Bad movie, appropriate title.
Blue Velvet – I saw this one in college. Cult classic or not, this was bad.
Boat Trip - [Unspeakable]
Body of Evidence – William Dafoe AND Madonna
The Bonfire of the Vanities - Sorry, but Tom Wolfe is not a great or even a good writer.
Boom! – One of several films that feature Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton yelling at each other.
Bride Wars – I saw this one just recently. They worked really hard to make this premise plausible.
The Brown Bunny - [Unspeakable]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – The title was so bad, I just had to see it.
Caddyshack II - If Caddyshack is the greatest movie about golf, then Caddyshack II is the worst movie about golf. ... Was it about golf?
Cain and Mabel – A film with (and for) William Randolph Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies. The tragedy of the matter is that Davis was a brilliant comedianne (see Show People, an extremely funny movie) but Hearst wanted her to be a dramatic actress.
Caligula - John Gielgud, Peter O'Toole, Malcolm McDowell, and Helen Mirren. Oops!
Caligula II – You’ll never know.
The Cannonball Run I-II – Essentially, the first film was a remake of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. The sequel dares to venture further down the spiral.
Can’t Stop the Music – Try.
Car 54, Where Are You? – Killed re-runs of that TV Show for a generation.
Casino Royale (1967) – This film is an utter disaster in every sense of the word. A complete mess of actors, directors, producers, scripts, lawsuits, editing ... characters come and go, the actors playing them come and go, plots stop and start, characters' accents and mannerisms stop and start, there are the most glaring plot holes and plot jumps that you will ever see. This is not so much of a train wreck but a herd of 100 car trains falling off the Empire State building like lemmings ... and I love every minute of it! I really love this movie. It works in ways that it couldn’t possibly ever really work. I highly recommend reading up on what occurred with this film.
The Cat in the Hat – Tremendously bad.
Cat Woman – It has Halle Berry (who previously played a character named “Sharon Stone”) in a movie with (the “real”?) Sharon Stone. I bet both Michelle Pfeiffer and Sean Young were wiping their foreheads in relief over this one.
Catalina Caper [MST3K] – Post-Disney Tommy Kirk: How bad could it be?
Chairman of the Board – See here
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle – Demi Returns ... to form.
Cleopatra – Tamara Dobson, Antonio Fargas, and Rex Harrison were great!
Clerks I and II – Why can’t ALL his characters be Silent?
Color of Night – Still beats Body of Evidence
The Conqueror – John Wayne as Genghis Khan ... I swear.
Cool as Ice – Dumb, dumb, dumb, ditty-dee, dumb, dumb.
Cop and a Half – “Fellini’s Cop a Half”
The Crawling Hand [MST3K] – The film gave me the creeps.
The Creeping Terror [MST3K] – The film gave me the crawls.
Critters 2: The Main Course – Pass me a bucket.
Crossroads – Crucify me.
Curse of the Pink Panther (Inspector Clouseau, Trail of the Pink Panther, Son of the Pink Panther, The Pink Panther, The Pink Panther 2) – The Curse is that no one but Peter Sellers can play Inspector Clouseau. But, darn it, they do try, don’t they?
Cutthroat Island – Cut it now.
Daddy Day Care – Eddie Murphy Strikes.
Demolition Man – A friend dragged me to see this film. Sylvester Stallone AND Sandra Bullock.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo – It has Rob Schneider ... how could it have been bad?
Dirty Dancing – I don’t care if Patrick Swayze has past on; I knew in 1987 what most of us know now: the is a bad movie.
Dirty Love - [Unspeakable]
Doctor Dolittle (1967) - My favorite line: "When you say 'He can speak crab and pelican', they'll say 'Like hell he can!'"
Dr. Dolittle I-V – Eddie Murphy Strikes Again.
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde – Keep hyding ... keep counting.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas – Not nearly as bad as The Cat in the Hat but still ...
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - See Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
Dune – Sorry, but I really love this film. It is convoluted, odd, violent, gory, bizarre, and made by David Lynch but I still really, really love it. Yes, it is long, but I watched the 5 hour version on a bootlegged copy in college.
Eegah [MST3K] – “Watch out for snakes."
The English Patient – On Seinfeld, the character of Elaine Benes is forced to sit through this film because of a boyfriend and her job. I set through it because of a girlfriend. She wasn’t worth it.
Evan Almighty - Richard Roeper in his review of the film commended Jim Carrey for not reprising his role in "three of the worst sequels of all time", which included Dumb and Dumberer, Son of the Mask, and Evan Almighty.
Exit to Eden – There wasn’t that much nudity in Eden.
Fair Game – Next time ... cheat.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off – I don’t care who knows it – this movie was bad. There, I’ve said it and I meant it.
Flash Gordon – My theory is that Queen forgot that they were asked to submit an idea for theme music to this film and had to make it up on the way to the meeting: “Flash ... Ah-hah!”
Freddy Got Fingered – [Unspeakable]
From Justin to Kelly – I am happy that Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are both Christians. See Showgirls below.
Ghost – No comment.
Gigli – Bennifer I
Give My Regards to Broad Street – Square.
Glen or Glenda – Today Ed Wood wouldn’t have to make a choice.
Glitter – Obviously not gold.
The Goonies – Here is another 1980s icon I feel the need to shatter. This movie was bad. There, I’ve said it and I really, really meant it.
Grease 2 – The only reason the original Grease film isn’t on this list is that I do like the title song "Grease" (written by Barry Gibb and sung by Frankie Valli) and “Beauty School Dropout” (sung by Frankie Avalon).
The Greatest Story Ever Told – Best Line in the Movie, spoken by the Centurion played by John Wayne: “Truly this man was the son of God.” (You have to read the line as Wayne would have said it.)
Grindhouse – It has been hard to sit by for 17 years and hear some of my friends, peers, colleagues, and favorite artists and critics gush out praise for Quentin Tarantino and his films. Granted since the early 1970s, much of Hollywood has been run by 14 year old boys but many of those Boomers have matured – Tarantino is an Xer and shows no sign of finishing puberty – if anything he is regressing!
This film was the first significant crack in the Tarantino corpus to be noticeable by anyone other myself. Dismal. Granted, the rest of his work is bad (Yes, Pulp Fiction isn’t good), but now everyone could see it ... or, rather, didn’t want to see it.
I mean, look at how many gawdawful films John Travolta has made since 1994. Quentin Tarantino is responsible for that.
The Haunted Mansion – The scene in the crypt should have gotten the film a PG-13 at the very least.
Heaven’s Gate – Once the Citizen Kane of Box Office Bombs ... but Kevin Costner was soon to come.
Hercules in New York (originally known as Hercules Goes Bananas) – The first step in Arnold's diabolical plan to become governor of Calli-furn-ya.
Hercules Unchained [MST3K] – A great movie to make fun of.
Hobglobins [MST3K] – I can usually stomach a bad film on MST3K if the humor is good - not this one! They warned the audience that this one was REALLY bad ... no more than 20 minutes and we changed the channel.
The Horn Blows at Midnight – Here is an old film starring Jack Benny. A notable bomb that Benny’s TV scriptwriters used as a punch line for many more decades. I don’t think any film disaster was ever so profitable for its star. 30 minutes in was more than I could stand.
Howard the Duck – Dead duck.
Hudson Hawk – Dead Hawk.
I Know Who Killed Me – Now how about your career?
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale – In the Name of God: Stop making films, Uwe!
Inchon! – Made the War in the Pacific look like a Mass Wedding.
Independence Day – A film by Michael Bay. This isn’t the worst film ever made but only because Michael Bay has made other films.
Inspector Gadget – Would you believe that he missed it by that much?
Ishtar – and Ishfeather them
It’s Pat – It’s ______!
Jaws: The Revenge – The Sharks vendetta against the film franchise.
Jersey Girl - Bennifer II
Joe Dirt – Joe ______!
John Waters Films - Saves time just grouping them together.
Judge Dredd – How does the man do it?
Junior - Ebert and his partner Gene Siskel gave the movie "two thumbs up" on their TV show. No one is perfect.
Kazaam – Kablooey.
King Kong Lives – Sort of a trial run for Linda Hamilton’s role on Beauty and the Beast.
Kolberg – Why win WWII when you can make a film about defeating the French in 1807.
The Land Before Time I-XIV – Make Time STOP!!!
Last Action Hero – It’s a comedy and a satire on action movies. If you understand that, the film is not too bad.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – They were watching this movie at the guy’s dorm at seminary. There is nothing more thrilling than a high speed chase through the STREETS of Venice.
Leonard Part 6 - “Hey, hey, hey, it’s a Fat Failure!”
Little Buddha – In college, my poetry professor came to class one morning complaining that Keanu Reeves gave the worst acting performance of any star actor that he had ever witnessed. Obviously, my professor had not yet seen Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing, Johnny Mnemonic, Feeling Minnesota, The Devil's Advocate, etc.
Little Man – Next the Wayans Brothers will do a film version of “One Froggy Evening”
Little Nicky – Adam Sandler makes so many bad movies, when someone else makes a bad movie Sandler gets a royalty!
The Love Guru – “Ka-ching, ka-ching!” quoth Mr. Sandler
Mac and Me – And the French version: “Royale with Cheese and Me”
Mallrats – It’s like Dawn of the Dead but with less brains and worse acting.
Manos: The Hands of Fate [MST3K] – Best to give this one the Finger of Fate.
The Master of Disguise – Turtle, turtle, turtle ... ? I don’t get it.
Masters of The Universe – If you don’t have the budget, don’t make the film.
The Matrix II (aside from the amazingly choreographed fight scene between Neo and the Mutiple Mr. Smiths) and The Matrix III - You all know it's true - you just have to have the courage to admit it.
Meet Dave – Meet Norbit.
Mitchell [MST3K] – One of my favorite MST3K episodes.
Mohammad: Messenger of God – Shiite.
Monster A Go-Go – It could have been worse.
Monster’s Ball – Halle Berry is a bad actress. Yes, she got the Oscar for this, but Jamie Foxx won an Oscar and he portrayed Wanda Wayne on In Living Color. How did he beat Don Cheadle for Hotel Rwanda?
Myra Breckinridge – Sorry, but Gore Vidal is not a great or even a good writer.
The NeverEnding Story II-III – Aptly named.
Norbit – Dave.
North – Here is Roger Ebert’s Famous Review:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."
Nothing But Trouble – Dan Aykroyd got the idea after being pulled over for speeding in North Carolina. ... Same to you, buddy!
Oh, God (1977), Oh, God! Book II (1980) and Oh, God! You Devil (1984) – It’s going to be difficult to explain the 1980s fascination and stardom of George Burns to future generations.
The Only Game in Town - In his review in the New York Times, Vincent Canby called it “a phenomenological disaster”.
Octopussy – The “Tarzan Yell” was to the James Bond franchise what Darth Vader’s “No!” in Revenge of the Sith was to the Star Wars franchise.
Pearl Harbor – Yes, Monster A Go-Go could have been worse.
The Pirate Movie – This film plus Cutthroat Island is what doomed movies about Pirates until Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End – And now we are back to the time of The Pirate Movie and Cutthroat Island. What happened? Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest was one of the best action and adventure films I’ve ever seen. Aside from the scenes in Davy Jone’s Locker [the Multiple Jack Sparrow-sequence which I could have watched for hours], this movie was a complete mess. What happened?
Plan 9 from Outer Space – Ed Wood made bad movies because he had no money. What excuse does Michael Bay have?
Planet of the Apes (2001) – “Oh my Gosh. A remake. A remake. After all this time, he made a ... He finally really did it. You Maniac! You blew it up! Ah, darn you! Gosh darn you, Tim Burton, to Sheol!!”
Popeye – The only two people who appear to like this movie is Roger Ebert and myself. I love it! I’ve actually thought long and hard about why people do not like this movie and have reached a conclusion. Anyone who wants to know can email me.
The Poseidon Adventure (1972), (1979), (2005), and (2006) – They were all bad. Try and understand: disaster movies are ALL bad. All of them. And Michael Bay is a horrible director.
The Postman – Kevin Costner always makes bad films twice.
Problem Child - [Unspeakable]
Queen of the Damned – Ann Rice is now a Christian. See Showgirls below.
Raise the Titanic – Plot overboard!
Rambo I-IV – Vietnam wasn’t this bad.
Rat Race – Yet another remake of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
The Real Cancun – The first (and so far last) film by the makers of MTV’s The Real World. They are the primary ones to blame for reality shows. A bunch of college graduates who live in a multi-million dollar apartment with disposable income and no jobs. Real world ...
Rhinestone – Sylvester Stallone isn’t human!! How can he survive?!!
Robot Monster – I preferred Monster Robot.
The Rocketeer – A big box office disappointment but not really a bad movie
Rocky I-VI – Why won’t he stop?!!
Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma – Don’t even ask. A 2000 poll of critics conducted by the The Village Voice named it the 89th greatest film of the 20th century. But then The Village Voice would, wouldn’t they?
Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians – Well, then tell them to conqueror back!
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause – I was forced to sit through this one in a theatre. What is the point of being an adult if you’re still forced to watch nonsense like this?
Scary Movie – [Unspeakable]
Scipio Africanus – He could make the trains run on time but Mussolini wasn’t a very good film producer. Stick to your day job of invading Abyssinia.
Scooby-Doo I-II – Don’t.
Sextette – Mae West eventually became a Christian late in life. See Showgirls below.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – It came out the same year as Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Coincidence?
Shanghai Surprise – Madonna made more movies after this one. Surprise!
Showgirls – Man, I am glad Joe Eszterhas became a Christian a few years ago because with Basic Instinct, Sliver, Alan Smithee, and this film … I wouldn’t have worried about “development hell”.
The Sidehackers [MST3K] – A mighty big thorn.
Ski Hard – Don’t ask. Skip down to Sliver.
Sliver – On second though, go back to Ski Hard.
Smokey and the Bandit I-III – They made THREE of them!
Soldier - The film was critically panned, in part due to the lackluster dialogue that had Kurt Russell speaking only 79 words over the course of the 99 minute movie
Son of the Mask – Here is a Rule of Thumb when dining out: the commercial, the advertisement, and the picture on the menu will always look better than the actual item on your plate. This Rule of Thumb extends to Movie Previews on television and in the theatre itself. A movie preview shown at a movie theatre will always be worse than the actual movie. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE WORST FILMS EVER!!!
A Sound of Thunder – Most will never hear of this film and even fewer will ever see this major film failure.
The Specialist – If Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone are the worst actor and actress of their generation (and I think they are) then this film was really something special.
Speed 2: Cruise Control – Even Keanu Reeves stayed away from this one. See Speed 3 instead
Speed Racer – Go, Speed Racer, and don’t come back.
Spice World – Puppy dog tails.
The Spirit – Slay me.
The Story of Mankind – Just a waste of fine talent.
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over - Well said.
Starship Troopers – I never knew how bad a film could be … I probably must thank this film for ending my desire to watch any film I knew wasn’t good.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier – The finest film William Shatner ever directed.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - PROVE
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones - ME
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - WRONG
Staying Alive – Kill Me
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot – I’m not stopping.
Striptease – Demi Moore AND Burt Reynolds ... how could they fail?
Stuart Saves His Family – The man is in the Senate!
The Stupids – Duh.
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 – Good God, they did make a sequel! Aaaaahhh!
Supergirl – It was better than Cat Woman but that wasn’t too hard.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace – And that was the end of the Superman francise.
Swept Away – And yet Madonna continues to come back again and again.
Swordfish – Did you see Halle Berry promote this movie at the MTV Movie Awards in 2001?
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – It’s a film based on a book by Tom Robbins … who would expect it to be any good?
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar – Woof!
Town and Country - It holds the record for the largest absolute loss (movie budget minus box-office intake) on a movie.
Transformers – I had the toys and watched the show when I was a kid and I still couldn’t figure out what was going on.
Transformers 2 – “Worst of the Decade” they are saying. And the Razzie goes to ...
Troll 2 – There are no trolls in the movie.
The Tuxedo – Unfortunately, there is a tuxedo in the movie.
Two of a Kind – Fold.
Underwater! – Better to be sprinkled next time.
View to a Kill – The theme song by Duran Duran was nice. ... You’ll notice that Timothy Dalton Bong films escaped this list. Too obvious.
Water World – The only movie I ever went to see because I felt sorry for the filmmaker.
Weekend at Bernies 2 – I’m only glad I didn’t see the first one. By the way, how did he die?
White Chicks – Rob Schneider, eat your heart out.
Who's Your Caddy? – Who would've thought Caddyshack 2 would ever be topped?
Wild Wild West – I loathe steampunk.
Xanadu – X marks the spot, so watch where you step. Woof.
Worst Directors
Michael Bay
Uwe Boll
Kevin Costner
Kevin Smith
Lars von Trier
Paul Verhoeven
John Waters
Ed Wood
Worst Actors, Actresses, and Rob Schneider
Ben Affleck
Halle Berry
Sandra Bullock
Kevin Costner
Timothy Dalton
Willem Dafoe
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Madonna
Demi Moore
Eddie Murphy
Keanu Reeves
Burt Reynolds
Kurt Russell
Rob Schneider
Sylvester Stallone
Sharon Stone
Arnold Swarzenegger
John Travolta
The Wayans Brothers
1) A film for which the production and marketing costs greatly exceeded the revenue retained by the movie studio, i.e., it didn’t make squash at the box office.
2) A big-billed film with all the necessary ingredients that make a great film (director, cast, producers, studio, special FX, screenplay, sweeping music score, big budget, and marketing) except one: entertainment.
3) A film that is so ghastly ... (shudder), (cringe), and (“I’d walk out of that movie on an airplane!”)
This is the general groupings that I’ve maintained for my collection. And, of course, some of these films fulfill two or more of the three types. Granted not everyone will agree with all of my choices, but most will agree with most of my choices.
Some of these films I only saw by watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 abbreviated MST3K. These films will be noted by the following: [MST3K]
However, there are a few films on this list which I have seen and which are generally considered to be bad for one reason or other, but which I believe are really great. Naturally, I shall point these out.
1941 – Steven Spielberg’s contribution to the end of New Hollywood.
3000 Miles to Graceland – All I say is that it stars Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell, thus the title speaks for itself. ... Soundtrack by Paul Simon.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen – This is a fabulous film beset with disasters from day one. It nearly ruined Terry Gilliam’s film career and became the second in a long line of unfortunate film troubles. But The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus comes out Christmas Day!!!
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane – I only saw one scene. Woof.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash – Texas Ranger
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert – I have the lunch box!
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn – Irony upon irony upon irony ...
Alexander – "Beware of windfallen apples and of men whose eyebrows meet".
All the King's Men – Michael Medved: a "pointless, pretentious, plodding period-piece" of ...
Alone in the Dark – A Video Game with Christian Slater.
Antichrist – Now William Dafoe has played Christ and Anti-Christ.
Are You Being Served?: The Movie – I love the TV show too much to ever watch the film.
Armageddon – Why did Bruce Willis have to die? Why is it never Ben Affleck?
Around the World in 80 Days (2004) – The last step in Arnold's diabolical plan to become governor of Calli-furn-ya
The Avengers – Montezuma’s Avenge
Baby Geniuses – Well, at least no one wanted to make a sequel.
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever – With a name like that, how could they have failed?
B*A*P*S – I knew when I watch The Flintstone Movie and saw Halle Berry play a character named “Sharon Stone” that no good was to come from this “actress”. This film confirmed it.
Barb Wire – It’s not just Pamela Anderson in an action movie ... it’s a remake of Casablanca. I swear!
Basic Instinct – The film that made Sharon Stone ... whatever.
Basic Instinct 2 – Like I’d ever want to watch this.
Batman and Robin – I probably must thank this film for ending my desire to watch any film I knew wasn’t good. Every line was a bad pun or cliché. How is it that these actors can read a script and not realize that the film is going to be absolutely gawdawful?
Battlefield Earth - “If John Travolta can fly an airplane, how hard can it be?” – Barry B. Benson, Bee Movie
The Blue Bird (1976) – Even Shirley Temple’s version of 1940 wasn’t as bad as this.
The Blue Lagoon – Bad movie, appropriate title.
Blue Velvet – I saw this one in college. Cult classic or not, this was bad.
Boat Trip - [Unspeakable]
Body of Evidence – William Dafoe AND Madonna
The Bonfire of the Vanities - Sorry, but Tom Wolfe is not a great or even a good writer.
Boom! – One of several films that feature Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton yelling at each other.
Bride Wars – I saw this one just recently. They worked really hard to make this premise plausible.
The Brown Bunny - [Unspeakable]
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – The title was so bad, I just had to see it.
Caddyshack II - If Caddyshack is the greatest movie about golf, then Caddyshack II is the worst movie about golf. ... Was it about golf?
Cain and Mabel – A film with (and for) William Randolph Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies. The tragedy of the matter is that Davis was a brilliant comedianne (see Show People, an extremely funny movie) but Hearst wanted her to be a dramatic actress.
Caligula - John Gielgud, Peter O'Toole, Malcolm McDowell, and Helen Mirren. Oops!
Caligula II – You’ll never know.
The Cannonball Run I-II – Essentially, the first film was a remake of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. The sequel dares to venture further down the spiral.
Can’t Stop the Music – Try.
Car 54, Where Are You? – Killed re-runs of that TV Show for a generation.
Casino Royale (1967) – This film is an utter disaster in every sense of the word. A complete mess of actors, directors, producers, scripts, lawsuits, editing ... characters come and go, the actors playing them come and go, plots stop and start, characters' accents and mannerisms stop and start, there are the most glaring plot holes and plot jumps that you will ever see. This is not so much of a train wreck but a herd of 100 car trains falling off the Empire State building like lemmings ... and I love every minute of it! I really love this movie. It works in ways that it couldn’t possibly ever really work. I highly recommend reading up on what occurred with this film.
The Cat in the Hat – Tremendously bad.
Cat Woman – It has Halle Berry (who previously played a character named “Sharon Stone”) in a movie with (the “real”?) Sharon Stone. I bet both Michelle Pfeiffer and Sean Young were wiping their foreheads in relief over this one.
Catalina Caper [MST3K] – Post-Disney Tommy Kirk: How bad could it be?
Chairman of the Board – See here
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle – Demi Returns ... to form.
Cleopatra – Tamara Dobson, Antonio Fargas, and Rex Harrison were great!
Clerks I and II – Why can’t ALL his characters be Silent?
Color of Night – Still beats Body of Evidence
The Conqueror – John Wayne as Genghis Khan ... I swear.
Cool as Ice – Dumb, dumb, dumb, ditty-dee, dumb, dumb.
Cop and a Half – “Fellini’s Cop a Half”
The Crawling Hand [MST3K] – The film gave me the creeps.
The Creeping Terror [MST3K] – The film gave me the crawls.
Critters 2: The Main Course – Pass me a bucket.
Crossroads – Crucify me.
Curse of the Pink Panther (Inspector Clouseau, Trail of the Pink Panther, Son of the Pink Panther, The Pink Panther, The Pink Panther 2) – The Curse is that no one but Peter Sellers can play Inspector Clouseau. But, darn it, they do try, don’t they?
Cutthroat Island – Cut it now.
Daddy Day Care – Eddie Murphy Strikes.
Demolition Man – A friend dragged me to see this film. Sylvester Stallone AND Sandra Bullock.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo – It has Rob Schneider ... how could it have been bad?
Dirty Dancing – I don’t care if Patrick Swayze has past on; I knew in 1987 what most of us know now: the is a bad movie.
Dirty Love - [Unspeakable]
Doctor Dolittle (1967) - My favorite line: "When you say 'He can speak crab and pelican', they'll say 'Like hell he can!'"
Dr. Dolittle I-V – Eddie Murphy Strikes Again.
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde – Keep hyding ... keep counting.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas – Not nearly as bad as The Cat in the Hat but still ...
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - See Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
Dune – Sorry, but I really love this film. It is convoluted, odd, violent, gory, bizarre, and made by David Lynch but I still really, really love it. Yes, it is long, but I watched the 5 hour version on a bootlegged copy in college.
Eegah [MST3K] – “Watch out for snakes."
The English Patient – On Seinfeld, the character of Elaine Benes is forced to sit through this film because of a boyfriend and her job. I set through it because of a girlfriend. She wasn’t worth it.
Evan Almighty - Richard Roeper in his review of the film commended Jim Carrey for not reprising his role in "three of the worst sequels of all time", which included Dumb and Dumberer, Son of the Mask, and Evan Almighty.
Exit to Eden – There wasn’t that much nudity in Eden.
Fair Game – Next time ... cheat.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off – I don’t care who knows it – this movie was bad. There, I’ve said it and I meant it.
Flash Gordon – My theory is that Queen forgot that they were asked to submit an idea for theme music to this film and had to make it up on the way to the meeting: “Flash ... Ah-hah!”
Freddy Got Fingered – [Unspeakable]
From Justin to Kelly – I am happy that Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are both Christians. See Showgirls below.
Ghost – No comment.
Gigli – Bennifer I
Give My Regards to Broad Street – Square.
Glen or Glenda – Today Ed Wood wouldn’t have to make a choice.
Glitter – Obviously not gold.
The Goonies – Here is another 1980s icon I feel the need to shatter. This movie was bad. There, I’ve said it and I really, really meant it.
Grease 2 – The only reason the original Grease film isn’t on this list is that I do like the title song "Grease" (written by Barry Gibb and sung by Frankie Valli) and “Beauty School Dropout” (sung by Frankie Avalon).
The Greatest Story Ever Told – Best Line in the Movie, spoken by the Centurion played by John Wayne: “Truly this man was the son of God.” (You have to read the line as Wayne would have said it.)
Grindhouse – It has been hard to sit by for 17 years and hear some of my friends, peers, colleagues, and favorite artists and critics gush out praise for Quentin Tarantino and his films. Granted since the early 1970s, much of Hollywood has been run by 14 year old boys but many of those Boomers have matured – Tarantino is an Xer and shows no sign of finishing puberty – if anything he is regressing!
This film was the first significant crack in the Tarantino corpus to be noticeable by anyone other myself. Dismal. Granted, the rest of his work is bad (Yes, Pulp Fiction isn’t good), but now everyone could see it ... or, rather, didn’t want to see it.
I mean, look at how many gawdawful films John Travolta has made since 1994. Quentin Tarantino is responsible for that.
The Haunted Mansion – The scene in the crypt should have gotten the film a PG-13 at the very least.
Heaven’s Gate – Once the Citizen Kane of Box Office Bombs ... but Kevin Costner was soon to come.
Hercules in New York (originally known as Hercules Goes Bananas) – The first step in Arnold's diabolical plan to become governor of Calli-furn-ya.
Hercules Unchained [MST3K] – A great movie to make fun of.
Hobglobins [MST3K] – I can usually stomach a bad film on MST3K if the humor is good - not this one! They warned the audience that this one was REALLY bad ... no more than 20 minutes and we changed the channel.
The Horn Blows at Midnight – Here is an old film starring Jack Benny. A notable bomb that Benny’s TV scriptwriters used as a punch line for many more decades. I don’t think any film disaster was ever so profitable for its star. 30 minutes in was more than I could stand.
Howard the Duck – Dead duck.
Hudson Hawk – Dead Hawk.
I Know Who Killed Me – Now how about your career?
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale – In the Name of God: Stop making films, Uwe!
Inchon! – Made the War in the Pacific look like a Mass Wedding.
Independence Day – A film by Michael Bay. This isn’t the worst film ever made but only because Michael Bay has made other films.
Inspector Gadget – Would you believe that he missed it by that much?
Ishtar – and Ishfeather them
It’s Pat – It’s ______!
Jaws: The Revenge – The Sharks vendetta against the film franchise.
Jersey Girl - Bennifer II
Joe Dirt – Joe ______!
John Waters Films - Saves time just grouping them together.
Judge Dredd – How does the man do it?
Junior - Ebert and his partner Gene Siskel gave the movie "two thumbs up" on their TV show. No one is perfect.
Kazaam – Kablooey.
King Kong Lives – Sort of a trial run for Linda Hamilton’s role on Beauty and the Beast.
Kolberg – Why win WWII when you can make a film about defeating the French in 1807.
The Land Before Time I-XIV – Make Time STOP!!!
Last Action Hero – It’s a comedy and a satire on action movies. If you understand that, the film is not too bad.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen – They were watching this movie at the guy’s dorm at seminary. There is nothing more thrilling than a high speed chase through the STREETS of Venice.
Leonard Part 6 - “Hey, hey, hey, it’s a Fat Failure!”
Little Buddha – In college, my poetry professor came to class one morning complaining that Keanu Reeves gave the worst acting performance of any star actor that he had ever witnessed. Obviously, my professor had not yet seen Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing, Johnny Mnemonic, Feeling Minnesota, The Devil's Advocate, etc.
Little Man – Next the Wayans Brothers will do a film version of “One Froggy Evening”
Little Nicky – Adam Sandler makes so many bad movies, when someone else makes a bad movie Sandler gets a royalty!
The Love Guru – “Ka-ching, ka-ching!” quoth Mr. Sandler
Mac and Me – And the French version: “Royale with Cheese and Me”
Mallrats – It’s like Dawn of the Dead but with less brains and worse acting.
Manos: The Hands of Fate [MST3K] – Best to give this one the Finger of Fate.
The Master of Disguise – Turtle, turtle, turtle ... ? I don’t get it.
Masters of The Universe – If you don’t have the budget, don’t make the film.
The Matrix II (aside from the amazingly choreographed fight scene between Neo and the Mutiple Mr. Smiths) and The Matrix III - You all know it's true - you just have to have the courage to admit it.
Meet Dave – Meet Norbit.
Mitchell [MST3K] – One of my favorite MST3K episodes.
Mohammad: Messenger of God – Shiite.
Monster A Go-Go – It could have been worse.
Monster’s Ball – Halle Berry is a bad actress. Yes, she got the Oscar for this, but Jamie Foxx won an Oscar and he portrayed Wanda Wayne on In Living Color. How did he beat Don Cheadle for Hotel Rwanda?
Myra Breckinridge – Sorry, but Gore Vidal is not a great or even a good writer.
The NeverEnding Story II-III – Aptly named.
Norbit – Dave.
North – Here is Roger Ebert’s Famous Review:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."
Nothing But Trouble – Dan Aykroyd got the idea after being pulled over for speeding in North Carolina. ... Same to you, buddy!
Oh, God (1977), Oh, God! Book II (1980) and Oh, God! You Devil (1984) – It’s going to be difficult to explain the 1980s fascination and stardom of George Burns to future generations.
The Only Game in Town - In his review in the New York Times, Vincent Canby called it “a phenomenological disaster”.
Octopussy – The “Tarzan Yell” was to the James Bond franchise what Darth Vader’s “No!” in Revenge of the Sith was to the Star Wars franchise.
Pearl Harbor – Yes, Monster A Go-Go could have been worse.
The Pirate Movie – This film plus Cutthroat Island is what doomed movies about Pirates until Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End – And now we are back to the time of The Pirate Movie and Cutthroat Island. What happened? Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest was one of the best action and adventure films I’ve ever seen. Aside from the scenes in Davy Jone’s Locker [the Multiple Jack Sparrow-sequence which I could have watched for hours], this movie was a complete mess. What happened?
Plan 9 from Outer Space – Ed Wood made bad movies because he had no money. What excuse does Michael Bay have?
Planet of the Apes (2001) – “Oh my Gosh. A remake. A remake. After all this time, he made a ... He finally really did it. You Maniac! You blew it up! Ah, darn you! Gosh darn you, Tim Burton, to Sheol!!”
Popeye – The only two people who appear to like this movie is Roger Ebert and myself. I love it! I’ve actually thought long and hard about why people do not like this movie and have reached a conclusion. Anyone who wants to know can email me.
The Poseidon Adventure (1972), (1979), (2005), and (2006) – They were all bad. Try and understand: disaster movies are ALL bad. All of them. And Michael Bay is a horrible director.
The Postman – Kevin Costner always makes bad films twice.
Problem Child - [Unspeakable]
Queen of the Damned – Ann Rice is now a Christian. See Showgirls below.
Raise the Titanic – Plot overboard!
Rambo I-IV – Vietnam wasn’t this bad.
Rat Race – Yet another remake of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
The Real Cancun – The first (and so far last) film by the makers of MTV’s The Real World. They are the primary ones to blame for reality shows. A bunch of college graduates who live in a multi-million dollar apartment with disposable income and no jobs. Real world ...
Rhinestone – Sylvester Stallone isn’t human!! How can he survive?!!
Robot Monster – I preferred Monster Robot.
The Rocketeer – A big box office disappointment but not really a bad movie
Rocky I-VI – Why won’t he stop?!!
Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma – Don’t even ask. A 2000 poll of critics conducted by the The Village Voice named it the 89th greatest film of the 20th century. But then The Village Voice would, wouldn’t they?
Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians – Well, then tell them to conqueror back!
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause – I was forced to sit through this one in a theatre. What is the point of being an adult if you’re still forced to watch nonsense like this?
Scary Movie – [Unspeakable]
Scipio Africanus – He could make the trains run on time but Mussolini wasn’t a very good film producer. Stick to your day job of invading Abyssinia.
Scooby-Doo I-II – Don’t.
Sextette – Mae West eventually became a Christian late in life. See Showgirls below.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – It came out the same year as Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Coincidence?
Shanghai Surprise – Madonna made more movies after this one. Surprise!
Showgirls – Man, I am glad Joe Eszterhas became a Christian a few years ago because with Basic Instinct, Sliver, Alan Smithee, and this film … I wouldn’t have worried about “development hell”.
The Sidehackers [MST3K] – A mighty big thorn.
Ski Hard – Don’t ask. Skip down to Sliver.
Sliver – On second though, go back to Ski Hard.
Smokey and the Bandit I-III – They made THREE of them!
Soldier - The film was critically panned, in part due to the lackluster dialogue that had Kurt Russell speaking only 79 words over the course of the 99 minute movie
Son of the Mask – Here is a Rule of Thumb when dining out: the commercial, the advertisement, and the picture on the menu will always look better than the actual item on your plate. This Rule of Thumb extends to Movie Previews on television and in the theatre itself. A movie preview shown at a movie theatre will always be worse than the actual movie. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE WORST FILMS EVER!!!
A Sound of Thunder – Most will never hear of this film and even fewer will ever see this major film failure.
The Specialist – If Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone are the worst actor and actress of their generation (and I think they are) then this film was really something special.
Speed 2: Cruise Control – Even Keanu Reeves stayed away from this one. See Speed 3 instead
Speed Racer – Go, Speed Racer, and don’t come back.
Spice World – Puppy dog tails.
The Spirit – Slay me.
The Story of Mankind – Just a waste of fine talent.
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over - Well said.
Starship Troopers – I never knew how bad a film could be … I probably must thank this film for ending my desire to watch any film I knew wasn’t good.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier – The finest film William Shatner ever directed.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - PROVE
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones - ME
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - WRONG
Staying Alive – Kill Me
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot – I’m not stopping.
Striptease – Demi Moore AND Burt Reynolds ... how could they fail?
Stuart Saves His Family – The man is in the Senate!
The Stupids – Duh.
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 – Good God, they did make a sequel! Aaaaahhh!
Supergirl – It was better than Cat Woman but that wasn’t too hard.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace – And that was the end of the Superman francise.
Swept Away – And yet Madonna continues to come back again and again.
Swordfish – Did you see Halle Berry promote this movie at the MTV Movie Awards in 2001?
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – It’s a film based on a book by Tom Robbins … who would expect it to be any good?
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar – Woof!
Town and Country - It holds the record for the largest absolute loss (movie budget minus box-office intake) on a movie.
Transformers – I had the toys and watched the show when I was a kid and I still couldn’t figure out what was going on.
Transformers 2 – “Worst of the Decade” they are saying. And the Razzie goes to ...
Troll 2 – There are no trolls in the movie.
The Tuxedo – Unfortunately, there is a tuxedo in the movie.
Two of a Kind – Fold.
Underwater! – Better to be sprinkled next time.
View to a Kill – The theme song by Duran Duran was nice. ... You’ll notice that Timothy Dalton Bong films escaped this list. Too obvious.
Water World – The only movie I ever went to see because I felt sorry for the filmmaker.
Weekend at Bernies 2 – I’m only glad I didn’t see the first one. By the way, how did he die?
White Chicks – Rob Schneider, eat your heart out.
Who's Your Caddy? – Who would've thought Caddyshack 2 would ever be topped?
Wild Wild West – I loathe steampunk.
Xanadu – X marks the spot, so watch where you step. Woof.
Worst Directors
Michael Bay
Uwe Boll
Kevin Costner
Kevin Smith
Lars von Trier
Paul Verhoeven
John Waters
Ed Wood
Worst Actors, Actresses, and Rob Schneider
Ben Affleck
Halle Berry
Sandra Bullock
Kevin Costner
Timothy Dalton
Willem Dafoe
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Madonna
Demi Moore
Eddie Murphy
Keanu Reeves
Burt Reynolds
Kurt Russell
Rob Schneider
Sylvester Stallone
Sharon Stone
Arnold Swarzenegger
John Travolta
The Wayans Brothers
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Oxford, Inspector Lewis, and Crime
I have been enjoying watching the first three series of Inspector Lewis on PBS.
British mysteries are almost always good, as is this one, and, filmed in Oxford, I enjoy seeing places I saw while I was there.
However, I am not sure if I would want to live there for any extended period of time.
What I've gathered from watching the show is that the town of Oxford has more murders than Detroit and half the professors there are the murders. The other half engage in fraud and sexual deviancy.
Which is probably why the university produces so many national leaders and international terrorists.
I'm not going to tell you which belong to the murderers and which belong to the fradulent and which belong sexually devious.
BTW - if you are ever looking for a pub to enjoy ... be wary of the ones that have a rainbow flag out front.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Heath Ledger's Final Film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Is As Good As You Imagined
"Yep, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is enchanting."
C. Robert Cargill, Sep 30, 2009
Terry Gilliam is back. Whatever dark place he was spirited away to after the collapse and failure of of his now infamous Don Quixote movie has clearly passed and he has returned to us. It appeared that the fates had conspired to stop him once again, this time by robbing him (and us) of Heath Ledger midway through shooting. Fortunately for him, however, the film they were making together was a dark fantasy film and Ledger had shot all the requisite scenes needed to finish with other actors standing in for him "beyond the mirror." The result is nothing short of a modern masterpiece that has already divided audiences, some finding it disappointing while others -- myself and my wife included -- were completely enchanted, in love and wanting to see it again.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is the story of an immortal man with something of a gambling addiction. Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer), a man centuries old, once made a deal with the devil ... and won, gaining immortality. But over time the Devil has offered him a number of deals and wagers -- wagers he finds very hard to resist. After ending up on the losing end of a deal, Parnassus finds himself three days away from losing his 16-year-old daughter's soul to the Devil (legendary guttural crooner and sometimes actor Tom Waits). So when the Devil offers him a chance to win back his daughter's soul, he jumps at the deal. The wager? First to win five souls in the doctor's wondrous imaginarium.
But just when things seem unwinnable, a mysterious stranger shows up who may or may not be able to help Parnassus win back the soul of his daughter. That stranger? Heath Ledger.
Ledger died midway through the shooting of this film, potentially dooming it to extinction -- but fortunately he had shot virtually everything that occurs outside of the mirror in the real world. And in an odd twist of fate -- as in completely unintentional -- Ledger happened to be wearing a mask of some sort every time he stepped through. This allowed Gilliam to tweak the story a little, having the imaginarium change Ledger's appearance to fit with the wild world beyond the mirror. Taking Ledger's place, and doing their best to give their loving farewell renditions to Ledger are none other than Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell. Each is masterful in their performance, with the audience fully invested in each different (and lets face it, iconic) actor as the same character that we've been following. In fact, you kind of forget that you're looking at these wonderful actors and simply buy them as Tony, as if Ledger had somehow crawled inside the skin of these very recognizable men. Also appearing in the film is a young unknown (and stunningly beautiful) Lily Cole and very well known Verne Troyer, who gives quite possibly the best performance of his career.
The film is one of Gilliam's masterpieces, a complicated, fantastic, and mind-bending fantasy film unlike anything you've ever seen. Unlike Gilliam's darker pieces, this is more akin to his work on The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Time Bandits, and Jabberwocky, but it is better than all three of these films. This is everything I love about Gilliam distilled into a single, perfect fairy tale. It's not simple, nor is it for everyone. But it is a marvelous, imaginative piece of fiction that will transport you into Gilliam's mind for two solid hours. This comes highly recommended and is a must for any and all Ledger fans out there. A perfect send-off for an incredible lost talent, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus opens in U.S. theaters on Christmas Day.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict"
Aye an a bit o' mackerel, fiddler, rack and fear, And I rutted down by the hade and the furrow. Well, I slipped me in a flop and hit down and I shied, and I cried, cried, cried. The fear of fallin' down aft' taken, never back to rise and then cried Mary and I tucked up Wi' a Claymore out and about, and I run down, down the mechyn sty and back on fiery hore that was fallin' around the feet. "Never!" I cried! "Never shall ye get me alive ya rotten hound of the Burnie Brae." Well, I snapped for a blade and a Claymore cut and thrust and I fell down before him 'round his feet. "Aye!" a roar he cried. Frae the bottom of his heart that I would nay fall but dead, dead as a can by a feat deah... and the wind cried Mary, Thank you.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
You're Bob Dylan? NJ police want to see some ID
Aug 14, 8:49 PM (ET)
By WAYNE PARRY
Rock legend Bob Dylan was treated like a complete unknown by police in a New Jersey shore community when a resident called to report someone wandering around the neighborhood.
Dylan was in Long Branch, about a two-hour drive south of New York City, on July 23 as part of a tour with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp that was to play at a baseball stadium in nearby Lakewood.
A 24-year-old police officer apparently was unaware of who Dylan is and asked him for identification, Long Branch business administrator Howard Woolley said Friday.
"I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," Woolley said.
The incident began at 5 p.m. when a resident said a man was wandering around a low-income, predominantly minority neighborhood several blocks from the oceanfront looking at houses.
The police officer drove up to Dylan, who was wearing a blue jacket, and asked him his name. According to Woolley, the following exchange ensued:
"What is your name, sir?" the officer asked.
"Bob Dylan," Dylan said.
"OK, what are you doing here?" the officer asked.
"I'm on tour," the singer replied.
A second officer, also in his 20s, responded to assist the first officer. He, too, apparently was unfamiliar with Dylan, Woolley said.
The officers asked Dylan for identification. The singer of such classics as "Like a Rolling Stone" and "Blowin' in the Wind" said that he didn't have any ID with him, that he was just walking around looking at houses to pass some time before that night's show.
The officers asked Dylan, 68, to accompany them back to the Ocean Place Resort and Spa, where the performers were staying. Once there, tour staff vouched for Dylan.
The officers thanked him for his cooperation.
"He couldn't have been any nicer to them," Woolley added.
How did it feel? A Dylan publicist did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment Friday.
First Cop: "What is your name, sir?" the officer asked.
Dylan: "Bob Dylan," Dylan said.
First Cop: "Do you have any identification to that effect?"
Dylan: "Right here."
First Cop: "Hmm ... it says here: 'Robert Alan Zimmerman.'"
Dylan: "Bob Dylan is my public name; Zimmerman is my birth name."
First Cop: "Right. Better call this one in."
Second Cop: "We'll do."
First Cop: "OK, what are you doing here?"
Dylan: "I'm on tour."
First Cop: "Tour? What kind of tour? This is New Jersey?"
Dylan: "A music tour. Rock and folk. A bit of blues and country western. I'm playing at the baseball stadium in Lakewood with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp."
First Cop: "Right."
Dylan: "It's part of my Never Ending Tour."
First Cop: "Right. Never Ending. You travel around a lot. Something of a drifter, are you?"
Second Cop: "Got it. Yes, he's Bob Dylan, alias Robert Zimmerman ... "
First Cop: "Alias?"
Second Cop: "... alias Elmer Johnson, alias Robert Milkwood Thomas, alias Tedham Porterhouse, alias Elston Gunnn [three "Ns"], Blind Boy Grunt, Lucky Wilbury/Boo Wilbury, Sergei Petrov, Jack Frost, Jack Fate, Willow Scarlet, Arthur Rimbaud, Robbie Clark, Billy the Kid, Woody Guthrie, Jude Quinn, Jack Rollins, and alias Pastor John."
First Cop: "Woody Guthrie? Do you have a son named Arlo?"
Dylan: "No."
First Cop: "Have you ever been to Great Barrington, Massachusetts?"
Dylan: "Possibly."
Second Cop: "I think we better take him in for questioning, Officer Obie."
First Cop: "Agreed."
By WAYNE PARRY
Rock legend Bob Dylan was treated like a complete unknown by police in a New Jersey shore community when a resident called to report someone wandering around the neighborhood.
Dylan was in Long Branch, about a two-hour drive south of New York City, on July 23 as part of a tour with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp that was to play at a baseball stadium in nearby Lakewood.
A 24-year-old police officer apparently was unaware of who Dylan is and asked him for identification, Long Branch business administrator Howard Woolley said Friday.
"I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," Woolley said.
The incident began at 5 p.m. when a resident said a man was wandering around a low-income, predominantly minority neighborhood several blocks from the oceanfront looking at houses.
The police officer drove up to Dylan, who was wearing a blue jacket, and asked him his name. According to Woolley, the following exchange ensued:
"What is your name, sir?" the officer asked.
"Bob Dylan," Dylan said.
"OK, what are you doing here?" the officer asked.
"I'm on tour," the singer replied.
A second officer, also in his 20s, responded to assist the first officer. He, too, apparently was unfamiliar with Dylan, Woolley said.
The officers asked Dylan for identification. The singer of such classics as "Like a Rolling Stone" and "Blowin' in the Wind" said that he didn't have any ID with him, that he was just walking around looking at houses to pass some time before that night's show.
The officers asked Dylan, 68, to accompany them back to the Ocean Place Resort and Spa, where the performers were staying. Once there, tour staff vouched for Dylan.
The officers thanked him for his cooperation.
"He couldn't have been any nicer to them," Woolley added.
How did it feel? A Dylan publicist did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment Friday.
First Cop: "What is your name, sir?" the officer asked.
Dylan: "Bob Dylan," Dylan said.
First Cop: "Do you have any identification to that effect?"
Dylan: "Right here."
First Cop: "Hmm ... it says here: 'Robert Alan Zimmerman.'"
Dylan: "Bob Dylan is my public name; Zimmerman is my birth name."
First Cop: "Right. Better call this one in."
Second Cop: "We'll do."
First Cop: "OK, what are you doing here?"
Dylan: "I'm on tour."
First Cop: "Tour? What kind of tour? This is New Jersey?"
Dylan: "A music tour. Rock and folk. A bit of blues and country western. I'm playing at the baseball stadium in Lakewood with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp."
First Cop: "Right."
Dylan: "It's part of my Never Ending Tour."
First Cop: "Right. Never Ending. You travel around a lot. Something of a drifter, are you?"
Second Cop: "Got it. Yes, he's Bob Dylan, alias Robert Zimmerman ... "
First Cop: "Alias?"
Second Cop: "... alias Elmer Johnson, alias Robert Milkwood Thomas, alias Tedham Porterhouse, alias Elston Gunnn [three "Ns"], Blind Boy Grunt, Lucky Wilbury/Boo Wilbury, Sergei Petrov, Jack Frost, Jack Fate, Willow Scarlet, Arthur Rimbaud, Robbie Clark, Billy the Kid, Woody Guthrie, Jude Quinn, Jack Rollins, and alias Pastor John."
First Cop: "Woody Guthrie? Do you have a son named Arlo?"
Dylan: "No."
First Cop: "Have you ever been to Great Barrington, Massachusetts?"
Dylan: "Possibly."
Second Cop: "I think we better take him in for questioning, Officer Obie."
First Cop: "Agreed."
Monday, August 10, 2009
Soundgarden’s Van
This weekend I visited a museum and saw Soundgarden’s van from the late 1980s: a 1986 Chevy Beauville G10. Lots of scratches and dents.
A number of stickers on the back windows: Thrasher, Mudhoney, Corrosion of Conformity, Sonic Youth (from the EVOl album), Social Distortion, Tendencies, Metallica [with an “80” sticker just above it], and (--------) Surfers [the first part of the name had been torn off the window]. And on one of the right side windows: Melvins.
Also, on the dashboard of the passenger’s side was a phrase in white paint that looked like it had daubed on by someone’s finger [Chris Cornell?]. The only part of the phrased I could see was the first word: “Kill”
Pretty cool!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
TRANSUBSTANTIATING THE CULTURE: ANDY WARHOL'S SECRET
[Andy Warhol: Closet Christian]
More than one seemingly religious person's secret sins have been exposed at their death; Warhol's secrets were that he went to church and served at a soup kitchen.
By James Romaine
"The works of our century are the mirrors of our predicament produced by some of the most sensitive minds of our time. In the light of our predicament we must look at the works of contemporary art, and conversely, in the light of contemporary art we must look at our predicament."
- Paul Tillich in "Each Period Has Its Peculiar Image of Man"
In his final self-portrait, Andy Warhol's gaze is both perplexed and perplexing. Like the artist, everything about this work is suspended in a haze of mystery. Warhol probably had no expectation that this would be his final self-reflection, yet it's hard to imagine him treating himself differently even if he had known.
Warhol treated everything the same. Cool detachment was as much a trademark for Warhol as Campbell's was for soup. Warhol's coolness has often been read as cynicism, and it did involve a degree of distance, but only out of a perceived need for self-protection. The seeming contradiction of Warhol's Self-portrait, and indeed all of his work, is that he expresses himself without revealing anything about himself; he is at once alienated and self-alienating.
There is scarcely a person in America whose life has not been affected—whether or not they know it—by the way Warhol transformed our understanding of our culture. Certainly there is no serious artist working today who has not been influenced by Warhol's conversion of the banal world of consumer culture into the sacred realm of art. We see ourselves and our world reflected in the mirror of Warhol's art, but the image has still not come into full focus. By the time he painted this last Self-portrait, Warhol had become the most famous artist in the world; but more than a decade later his art remains enigmatic.
Warhol began his career in New York as an illustrator of women's footwear, under his real name, Andrew Warhola. The darling of magazine editors, Warhol acquired the nickname "Candy Andy." Perceptions of Warhol today have not changed much since then.
We may think of sex and drugs (two things Warhol mostly abstained from) or fame and fortune (two things Warhol abounded in) as Andy's candies. Yet Warhol's persona, with his fast parties and white wigs, differed greatly from the private identity he both concealed and revealed in his art. Sly as a fox, Warhol played dumb with comments meant to set us off track, such as, "If you want to know about Andy Warhol, just look at the surfaces of my paintings and films and me, and there I am. There's nothing behind it."
There is, in fact, a great deal concealed beneath the surface of Warhol's art. The surfaces of his works appear to be mechanical -- an appearance Warhol emphasized by calling his studio "the Factory" and claiming to make art that could be done by anyone. The smooth veneer of silk-screening not only created a mechanical appearance, but his practice of reproducing already-reproduced images published in magazines and newspapers allowed Warhol to increase the degrees of separation between himself and his subjects.
Nevertheless, Warhol continued to use imagery that had personal significance to him. Many of these images were spiritual ones, influenced by the Catholicism that permeates Warhol's art. Despite reports that he went to church almost daily, some doubt the credibility of Warhol's faith and even consider his work anti-Christian. Warhol's life was, admittedly, filled with contradictions. He was always trying to protect his true intentions, especially regarding his Catholicism. Many of Warhol's friends did not know of his religious life until after his death.
More than one seemingly religious person's secret sins have been exposed at their death; Warhol's secrets were that he went to church and served at a soup kitchen. In his eulogy for Warhol, John Richardson outed him from the confessional when he said:
I'd like to recall a side of his character that he hid from all but his closest friends; his spiritual side. Those of you who knew him in circumstances that were the antithesis of spiritual may be surprised that such a side existed. But exist it did, and it's key to the artist's psyche. Although Andy was perceived—with some justice—as a passive observer who never imposed his beliefs on other people, he could on occasion be an effective proselytizer. To my certain knowledge, he was responsible for at least one conversion. He took considerable pride in financing his nephew's studies for the priesthood. And he regularly helped out at a shelter serving meals to the homeless and hungry. Trust Andy to have kept these activities in the dark. The knowledge of this secret piety inevitably changes our perception of an artist who fooled the world into believing that his only obsessions were money, fame, glamour, and that he could be cool to the point of callousness. Never take Andy at face value....
With family roots in Byzantine-Slavic Catholicism, Warhol kept a homemade altar with a crucifix and well-worn prayer book beside his bed. He frequently visited Saint Vincent Ferrer's Church on Lexington Avenue. The pastor of Saint Vincent's confirmed that Warhol visited the church almost daily. He would come in mid-afternoon, light a candle, and pray for fifteen minutes, sometimes making use of the intimacy of the private chapels. The pastor described Warhol as intensely shy and private, especially regarding his religion. Warhol's brother has characterized him as "really religious, but he didn't want people to know about that because [it was] private." For someone so bent on self-protection, Warhol's efforts to keep his religious life a secret may indicate just how important his faith was to him.
Do these religious revelations offer insight into Warhol's art? They do; perhaps more than has yet been appreciated by either the art or Christian worlds. Warhol's consumer imagery at first seems obsessed with the external world of contemporary culture to the exclusion of the internal life of faith. But there is also a persistent longing for something more, a hunger that is evident in the last Self-portrait and, most famously, in those cans of Campbell's soup.
In order to see this religious dimension, we must regain our sense of the sacramental—the use of material things as vehicles for encountering the divine and enabling eternity to break into time and space. Warhol's pop art, often criticized as mere regurgitation of advertising, actually displaces images from their original context in the commercial world, transporting them to the realm of art, collapsing the distance between the two, and creating new associations and meanings.
The Campbell's soup can, one of Warhol's most famous motifs, thus becomes another self-portrait of the artist. The can, like Warhol's public persona, is cool, metallic, machine-made, impenetrable, a mirror of its surroundings. These qualities, superficial though they are, nevertheless seduce the eye.
But what completes this self-portrait are the can's contents; they should be the most significant part, but actually have very little in common with the can's exterior. Soup, a warm source of nourishment, is a sensitive element that will not survive long outside of a protective container. Hidden beneath supermarket imagery, Warhol's faith is sealed for protection.
While carefully keeping himself secure inside, Warhol succeeded in making everyone believe that the soup can should be the focus of attention. Some have become enraptured by their own reflection on its metallic surface. Others have complained that Warhol and his art are hollow. Very few have attempted to open the can and find out what's inside.
Warhol's creative gift was an ability to bring subjects into spiritual equilibrium. He treated ultra-glamorous movie stars and anonymous police arrest photos with the same combination of contempt and envy. Warhol used consumer items more than just as mirrors of his time.
What seems to have attracted him to Coca-Cola bottles and Campbell's soup cans, as in 200 Campbell's Soup Cans, was a sense of comfort, belonging, and equality.
Warhol admitted that one reason he was attracted to the imagery of Campbell's soup was that he had eaten Campbell's soup nearly every day as a boy. Soup, of course, is a nearly global icon of home, but Campbell's is a distinctly American icon.
For Warhol, growing up in a poor immigrant family struggling to find its place in a new homeland, Campbell's soup probably offered a reassuring sense of belonging.
Warhol loved mass consumer imagery because of its equilibrating powers. "Coke is Coke," he once said, "and no matter how rich you are you can't get a better one than the one the homeless woman on the corner is drinking."
Living in New York City, Warhol undoubtedly experienced the way cities have of exaggerating the distance between wealth and poverty even while juxtaposing them. Perhaps reinforced by the piety and poverty of his childhood, Warhol may have looked forward to the equality of heaven, with the mechanical nature of his work forecasting an eternal destiny.
Warhol's strategy of representing heaven by repeated images has been linked to Byzantine icons, which limit individual creativity in favor of a standardized form. Warhol's work has a certain hypnotic rhythm, not unlike the rosary. This repetition also suggests that the image could extend infinitely, giving us a glimpse into eternity through everyday reality.
200 Campbell's Soup Cans celebrates more than social egalitarianism. But in a critique of America's emergent consumer religion, 200 Campbell's Soup Cans also joins a long artistic tradition of vanitas images, in which lavish displays of wealth are offset by reminders of life's fleeting nature and the inevitable final judgment.
Warhol's references to religious themes increased throughout his career, culminating in his most overtly religious and plainly sacramental works, patterned after Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper. Warhol made more than one hundred works based on Leonardo's image, but until recently these works received very little attention.
Many things may have drawn Warhol to the Last Supper, including the fact that Warhol's own art often dealt with food as a symbol of heaven.
Warhol's Catholicism asserted the miracle of transubstantiation, in which food—bread and wine—becomes a heavenly substance. Warhol may have accessed Leonardo's imagery to set himself within a certain tradition of religious art.
Leonardo brought out the classical and realist artist in Warhol, even though the meaning of "classical" and "real" had radically changed in the five hundred years separating them. Leonardo's breakthroughs in artistic perspective had radically brought the Christ figure into the viewer's world; Warhol brought Leonardo down off the wall, and in so doing brought Christ and the sacrament of the Eucharist into his world.
Indeed, Warhol's interest in Campbell's soup and the Last Supper are linked. Remember, Warhol said that his attraction to Campbell's soup was that he had eaten it every day as a child. Warhol's brother recalled that a reproduction of the Last Supper hung on their family's kitchen wall. As Warhol sat eating his soup, he ate under the watchful presence of Christ.
Another reason Warhol turned to the Last Supper was that it reminded him of his mother, Julia Warhola. Mrs. Warhola had a prayer card with an image of the Last Supper that she kept in her Bible. After her death, Warhol kept this card as a reminder of his mother's faith. He was very close to his mother, who came to live with him in New York. Warhol's brother noted that Andy and their mother had a small altar in their New York apartment and that "Andy wouldn't leave unless [she] would come into the kitchen and kneel down with him and pray."
Mrs. Warhola's prayer card bears a remarkable resemblance to Warhol's art, for it has reworked its subject significantly: the figure of Matthew is shifted, and Christ is given a golden halo -- changes probably made to invigorate the viewer's devotion. Is it too unlikely to suppose that Warhol's art had the same intent?
Works like Last Supper (Dove) bring together brand name products from the supermarket and the sacramental imagery of the church, asserting that modern life and faith are neither separate nor contradictory. Each makes the other more real and meaningful. The dove, descending from above Christ like a halo, represents the Holy Spirit; the General Electric sign (with its own halo) is a symbol of the Son. It doesn't take much imagination to connect GE with the light of the world, but there is an even subtler meaning to this sign: GE's slogan, "We bring good things to life," points to the resurrection and eternal life.
Warhol died of unexpected complications from routine surgery on February 22, 1987, making the Last Supper images a fitting, if unintentional, conclusion for Warhol's art. They show Christ in a creative and transformative action. Artistic transubstantiation allowed Warhol to identify with Christ, to see Christ as an artist and to see art as a sanctifying activity.
Indeed, Warhol's approach to art and Christianity exemplify what H. Richard Niebuhr, in Christ and Culture, famously called "Christ the Transformer of Culture." Just as Christ transformed common bread and wine into the holy sacraments, Warhol transformed everyday imagery into art.
The popularity of Warhol's work is a reflection of our own hunger for such transformation. Like all art, it raises questions: Are we hungry enough to accept anything offered to us? How are we to be discerning? Was Warhol discerning? If we are to "test each spirit," should we filter out Warhol? Was Warhol so hungry for something divine that he too easily accepted substitutes for the one thing that would satisfy him?
If we consider the disreputable company Warhol kept, our answer to the last question might be yes. Maybe Campbell's soup was no more than a commercial substitute for a spiritual hunger. But the spiritual sincerity and artistic complexities of his last works suggest that Andy Warhol's faith, and art, cannot be so easily dismissed.
November 12, 2003
More than one seemingly religious person's secret sins have been exposed at their death; Warhol's secrets were that he went to church and served at a soup kitchen.
By James Romaine
"The works of our century are the mirrors of our predicament produced by some of the most sensitive minds of our time. In the light of our predicament we must look at the works of contemporary art, and conversely, in the light of contemporary art we must look at our predicament."
- Paul Tillich in "Each Period Has Its Peculiar Image of Man"
In his final self-portrait, Andy Warhol's gaze is both perplexed and perplexing. Like the artist, everything about this work is suspended in a haze of mystery. Warhol probably had no expectation that this would be his final self-reflection, yet it's hard to imagine him treating himself differently even if he had known.
Warhol treated everything the same. Cool detachment was as much a trademark for Warhol as Campbell's was for soup. Warhol's coolness has often been read as cynicism, and it did involve a degree of distance, but only out of a perceived need for self-protection. The seeming contradiction of Warhol's Self-portrait, and indeed all of his work, is that he expresses himself without revealing anything about himself; he is at once alienated and self-alienating.
There is scarcely a person in America whose life has not been affected—whether or not they know it—by the way Warhol transformed our understanding of our culture. Certainly there is no serious artist working today who has not been influenced by Warhol's conversion of the banal world of consumer culture into the sacred realm of art. We see ourselves and our world reflected in the mirror of Warhol's art, but the image has still not come into full focus. By the time he painted this last Self-portrait, Warhol had become the most famous artist in the world; but more than a decade later his art remains enigmatic.
Warhol began his career in New York as an illustrator of women's footwear, under his real name, Andrew Warhola. The darling of magazine editors, Warhol acquired the nickname "Candy Andy." Perceptions of Warhol today have not changed much since then.
We may think of sex and drugs (two things Warhol mostly abstained from) or fame and fortune (two things Warhol abounded in) as Andy's candies. Yet Warhol's persona, with his fast parties and white wigs, differed greatly from the private identity he both concealed and revealed in his art. Sly as a fox, Warhol played dumb with comments meant to set us off track, such as, "If you want to know about Andy Warhol, just look at the surfaces of my paintings and films and me, and there I am. There's nothing behind it."
There is, in fact, a great deal concealed beneath the surface of Warhol's art. The surfaces of his works appear to be mechanical -- an appearance Warhol emphasized by calling his studio "the Factory" and claiming to make art that could be done by anyone. The smooth veneer of silk-screening not only created a mechanical appearance, but his practice of reproducing already-reproduced images published in magazines and newspapers allowed Warhol to increase the degrees of separation between himself and his subjects.
Nevertheless, Warhol continued to use imagery that had personal significance to him. Many of these images were spiritual ones, influenced by the Catholicism that permeates Warhol's art. Despite reports that he went to church almost daily, some doubt the credibility of Warhol's faith and even consider his work anti-Christian. Warhol's life was, admittedly, filled with contradictions. He was always trying to protect his true intentions, especially regarding his Catholicism. Many of Warhol's friends did not know of his religious life until after his death.
More than one seemingly religious person's secret sins have been exposed at their death; Warhol's secrets were that he went to church and served at a soup kitchen. In his eulogy for Warhol, John Richardson outed him from the confessional when he said:
I'd like to recall a side of his character that he hid from all but his closest friends; his spiritual side. Those of you who knew him in circumstances that were the antithesis of spiritual may be surprised that such a side existed. But exist it did, and it's key to the artist's psyche. Although Andy was perceived—with some justice—as a passive observer who never imposed his beliefs on other people, he could on occasion be an effective proselytizer. To my certain knowledge, he was responsible for at least one conversion. He took considerable pride in financing his nephew's studies for the priesthood. And he regularly helped out at a shelter serving meals to the homeless and hungry. Trust Andy to have kept these activities in the dark. The knowledge of this secret piety inevitably changes our perception of an artist who fooled the world into believing that his only obsessions were money, fame, glamour, and that he could be cool to the point of callousness. Never take Andy at face value....
With family roots in Byzantine-Slavic Catholicism, Warhol kept a homemade altar with a crucifix and well-worn prayer book beside his bed. He frequently visited Saint Vincent Ferrer's Church on Lexington Avenue. The pastor of Saint Vincent's confirmed that Warhol visited the church almost daily. He would come in mid-afternoon, light a candle, and pray for fifteen minutes, sometimes making use of the intimacy of the private chapels. The pastor described Warhol as intensely shy and private, especially regarding his religion. Warhol's brother has characterized him as "really religious, but he didn't want people to know about that because [it was] private." For someone so bent on self-protection, Warhol's efforts to keep his religious life a secret may indicate just how important his faith was to him.
Do these religious revelations offer insight into Warhol's art? They do; perhaps more than has yet been appreciated by either the art or Christian worlds. Warhol's consumer imagery at first seems obsessed with the external world of contemporary culture to the exclusion of the internal life of faith. But there is also a persistent longing for something more, a hunger that is evident in the last Self-portrait and, most famously, in those cans of Campbell's soup.
In order to see this religious dimension, we must regain our sense of the sacramental—the use of material things as vehicles for encountering the divine and enabling eternity to break into time and space. Warhol's pop art, often criticized as mere regurgitation of advertising, actually displaces images from their original context in the commercial world, transporting them to the realm of art, collapsing the distance between the two, and creating new associations and meanings.
The Campbell's soup can, one of Warhol's most famous motifs, thus becomes another self-portrait of the artist. The can, like Warhol's public persona, is cool, metallic, machine-made, impenetrable, a mirror of its surroundings. These qualities, superficial though they are, nevertheless seduce the eye.
But what completes this self-portrait are the can's contents; they should be the most significant part, but actually have very little in common with the can's exterior. Soup, a warm source of nourishment, is a sensitive element that will not survive long outside of a protective container. Hidden beneath supermarket imagery, Warhol's faith is sealed for protection.
While carefully keeping himself secure inside, Warhol succeeded in making everyone believe that the soup can should be the focus of attention. Some have become enraptured by their own reflection on its metallic surface. Others have complained that Warhol and his art are hollow. Very few have attempted to open the can and find out what's inside.
Warhol's creative gift was an ability to bring subjects into spiritual equilibrium. He treated ultra-glamorous movie stars and anonymous police arrest photos with the same combination of contempt and envy. Warhol used consumer items more than just as mirrors of his time.
What seems to have attracted him to Coca-Cola bottles and Campbell's soup cans, as in 200 Campbell's Soup Cans, was a sense of comfort, belonging, and equality.
Warhol admitted that one reason he was attracted to the imagery of Campbell's soup was that he had eaten Campbell's soup nearly every day as a boy. Soup, of course, is a nearly global icon of home, but Campbell's is a distinctly American icon.
For Warhol, growing up in a poor immigrant family struggling to find its place in a new homeland, Campbell's soup probably offered a reassuring sense of belonging.
Warhol loved mass consumer imagery because of its equilibrating powers. "Coke is Coke," he once said, "and no matter how rich you are you can't get a better one than the one the homeless woman on the corner is drinking."
Living in New York City, Warhol undoubtedly experienced the way cities have of exaggerating the distance between wealth and poverty even while juxtaposing them. Perhaps reinforced by the piety and poverty of his childhood, Warhol may have looked forward to the equality of heaven, with the mechanical nature of his work forecasting an eternal destiny.
Warhol's strategy of representing heaven by repeated images has been linked to Byzantine icons, which limit individual creativity in favor of a standardized form. Warhol's work has a certain hypnotic rhythm, not unlike the rosary. This repetition also suggests that the image could extend infinitely, giving us a glimpse into eternity through everyday reality.
200 Campbell's Soup Cans celebrates more than social egalitarianism. But in a critique of America's emergent consumer religion, 200 Campbell's Soup Cans also joins a long artistic tradition of vanitas images, in which lavish displays of wealth are offset by reminders of life's fleeting nature and the inevitable final judgment.
Warhol's references to religious themes increased throughout his career, culminating in his most overtly religious and plainly sacramental works, patterned after Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper. Warhol made more than one hundred works based on Leonardo's image, but until recently these works received very little attention.
Many things may have drawn Warhol to the Last Supper, including the fact that Warhol's own art often dealt with food as a symbol of heaven.
Warhol's Catholicism asserted the miracle of transubstantiation, in which food—bread and wine—becomes a heavenly substance. Warhol may have accessed Leonardo's imagery to set himself within a certain tradition of religious art.
Leonardo brought out the classical and realist artist in Warhol, even though the meaning of "classical" and "real" had radically changed in the five hundred years separating them. Leonardo's breakthroughs in artistic perspective had radically brought the Christ figure into the viewer's world; Warhol brought Leonardo down off the wall, and in so doing brought Christ and the sacrament of the Eucharist into his world.
Indeed, Warhol's interest in Campbell's soup and the Last Supper are linked. Remember, Warhol said that his attraction to Campbell's soup was that he had eaten it every day as a child. Warhol's brother recalled that a reproduction of the Last Supper hung on their family's kitchen wall. As Warhol sat eating his soup, he ate under the watchful presence of Christ.
Another reason Warhol turned to the Last Supper was that it reminded him of his mother, Julia Warhola. Mrs. Warhola had a prayer card with an image of the Last Supper that she kept in her Bible. After her death, Warhol kept this card as a reminder of his mother's faith. He was very close to his mother, who came to live with him in New York. Warhol's brother noted that Andy and their mother had a small altar in their New York apartment and that "Andy wouldn't leave unless [she] would come into the kitchen and kneel down with him and pray."
Mrs. Warhola's prayer card bears a remarkable resemblance to Warhol's art, for it has reworked its subject significantly: the figure of Matthew is shifted, and Christ is given a golden halo -- changes probably made to invigorate the viewer's devotion. Is it too unlikely to suppose that Warhol's art had the same intent?
Works like Last Supper (Dove) bring together brand name products from the supermarket and the sacramental imagery of the church, asserting that modern life and faith are neither separate nor contradictory. Each makes the other more real and meaningful. The dove, descending from above Christ like a halo, represents the Holy Spirit; the General Electric sign (with its own halo) is a symbol of the Son. It doesn't take much imagination to connect GE with the light of the world, but there is an even subtler meaning to this sign: GE's slogan, "We bring good things to life," points to the resurrection and eternal life.
Warhol died of unexpected complications from routine surgery on February 22, 1987, making the Last Supper images a fitting, if unintentional, conclusion for Warhol's art. They show Christ in a creative and transformative action. Artistic transubstantiation allowed Warhol to identify with Christ, to see Christ as an artist and to see art as a sanctifying activity.
Indeed, Warhol's approach to art and Christianity exemplify what H. Richard Niebuhr, in Christ and Culture, famously called "Christ the Transformer of Culture." Just as Christ transformed common bread and wine into the holy sacraments, Warhol transformed everyday imagery into art.
The popularity of Warhol's work is a reflection of our own hunger for such transformation. Like all art, it raises questions: Are we hungry enough to accept anything offered to us? How are we to be discerning? Was Warhol discerning? If we are to "test each spirit," should we filter out Warhol? Was Warhol so hungry for something divine that he too easily accepted substitutes for the one thing that would satisfy him?
If we consider the disreputable company Warhol kept, our answer to the last question might be yes. Maybe Campbell's soup was no more than a commercial substitute for a spiritual hunger. But the spiritual sincerity and artistic complexities of his last works suggest that Andy Warhol's faith, and art, cannot be so easily dismissed.
November 12, 2003
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Christian Celebrities?
The principle purpose of the novel I have been writing explores how and why a body of Christian believers falls apart and how this disintegration affects their witness to the world. And in doing so, I’ve been examining contemporary culture and the culture wars. With this in mind, I want to reference various Christian “celebrities”.
Therefore I’ve created a continually update list of such famous individuals.
By “Christian” I mean that the person has stated (either vocally or in writing) that he or she is a Christian or “follower of Jesus.”
Here is the Criterion:
1) Must be fairly well-known
2) Cannot be a “clergyman” or Christian scholar
3) Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and Christian Science are excluded from this particular list. Sorry.
4) Generally, a living person unless they have died in the past 20 years.
I want to know if anyone knows of such a Christian that I have missed.
Here is the current list:
Willie Aames
Angela Bassett
William J. Bennett
David Berkowitz
Tony Blair
Bono
Pat Boone
Gary Busey
George W. Bush
Candace Cameron
Kirk Cameron
Jimmy Carter
Johnny Cash
June Carter Cash
Samuel Truett Cathy
Kelly Clarkson
Alice Cooper
Ann Coulter
Billy Ray Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
Bob Dylan
Josef Eszterhas
The Everly Brothers
Mark Fredrick Farner
Jane Fonda
Gordon Gano
Kathie Lee Gifford
Al Green
MC Hammer
HHH
Kathy Ireland
Michael Irvin
Victoria Jackson
Avery Johnson
Dean Jones
Lenny Kravitz
Steven Michael Largent
Rush Limbaugh
Gavin MacLeod
Donna Jean (Godchaux) MacKay
Shawn Michaels
Moby
Mr. T
Barak Obama
Sinead O’Connor
Betty Page
Sarah Palin
Tyler Perry
Dennis Quaid
Christina Ricci
Ann Rice
David Robinson
Mickey Rooney
Rene Russo
Jane Russell
Deion Sanders
John Schneider
Martin Sheen
Jessica Simpson
Noel "Paul" Stookey
John Tesh
Chris Tucker
Jay Underwood
Courtney B. Vance
Luther Vandross
Denis Van Outten
Rick Wakeman
Kurt Warner
Denzel Washington
Brian Welch
Cornel West
Barry White
Juan Williams
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Franco Zeffirelli
Any Suggestions?
Therefore I’ve created a continually update list of such famous individuals.
By “Christian” I mean that the person has stated (either vocally or in writing) that he or she is a Christian or “follower of Jesus.”
Here is the Criterion:
1) Must be fairly well-known
2) Cannot be a “clergyman” or Christian scholar
3) Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, and Christian Science are excluded from this particular list. Sorry.
4) Generally, a living person unless they have died in the past 20 years.
I want to know if anyone knows of such a Christian that I have missed.
Here is the current list:
Willie Aames
Angela Bassett
William J. Bennett
David Berkowitz
Tony Blair
Bono
Pat Boone
Gary Busey
George W. Bush
Candace Cameron
Kirk Cameron
Jimmy Carter
Johnny Cash
June Carter Cash
Samuel Truett Cathy
Kelly Clarkson
Alice Cooper
Ann Coulter
Billy Ray Cyrus
Miley Cyrus
Bob Dylan
Josef Eszterhas
The Everly Brothers
Mark Fredrick Farner
Jane Fonda
Gordon Gano
Kathie Lee Gifford
Al Green
MC Hammer
HHH
Kathy Ireland
Michael Irvin
Victoria Jackson
Avery Johnson
Dean Jones
Lenny Kravitz
Steven Michael Largent
Rush Limbaugh
Gavin MacLeod
Donna Jean (Godchaux) MacKay
Shawn Michaels
Moby
Mr. T
Barak Obama
Sinead O’Connor
Betty Page
Sarah Palin
Tyler Perry
Dennis Quaid
Christina Ricci
Ann Rice
David Robinson
Mickey Rooney
Rene Russo
Jane Russell
Deion Sanders
John Schneider
Martin Sheen
Jessica Simpson
Noel "Paul" Stookey
John Tesh
Chris Tucker
Jay Underwood
Courtney B. Vance
Luther Vandross
Denis Van Outten
Rick Wakeman
Kurt Warner
Denzel Washington
Brian Welch
Cornel West
Barry White
Juan Williams
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Franco Zeffirelli
Any Suggestions?
Friday, January 23, 2009
Walter Brueggmann’s 19 Theses
2004 Emergent Theological Conversationwith Walter Brueggemann
September 13-15, 2004
All Souls Fellowship, Decatur, GA.
1. Everybody lives by a script. The script may be implicit or explicit. It may be recognised or unrecognized, but everybody has a script.
2. We get scripted. All of us get scripted through the process of nurture and formation and socialization, and it happens to us without our knowing it.
3. The dominant scripting in our society is a script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism that socializes us all, liberal and conservative.
4. That script (technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism) enacted through advertising and propaganda and ideology, especially on the liturgies of television, promises to make us safe and to make us happy.
5. That script has failed. That script of military consumerism cannot make us safe and it cannot make us happy. We may be the unhappiest society in the world.
6. Health for our society depends upon disengagement from and relinquishment of that script of military consumerism. This is a disengagement and relinquishment that we mostly resist and about which we are profoundly ambiguous.
7. It is the task of ministry to de-script that script among us. That is, too enable persons to relinquish a world that no longer exists and indeed never did exist.
8. The task of descripting, relinquishment and disengagement is accomplished by a steady, patient, intentional articulation of an alternative script that we say can make us happy and make us safe.
9. The alternative script is rooted in the Bible and is enacted through the tradition of the Church. It is an offer of a counter-narrative, counter to the script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism.
10. That alternative script has as its most distinctive feature, its key character – the God of the Bible whom we name as Father, Son, and Spirit.
11. That script is not monolithic, one dimensional or seamless. It is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent. Partly it is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because it has been crafted over time by many committees. But it is also ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because the key character is illusive and irascible in freedom and in sovereignty and in hiddenness, and, I’m embarrassed to say, in violence – [a] huge problem for us.
12. The ragged, disjunctive, and incoherent quality of the counter-script to which we testify cannot be smoothed or made seamless. [I think the writer of Psalm 119 would probably like too try, to make it seamless]. Because when we do that the script gets flattened and domesticated. [This is my polemic against systematic theology]. The script gets flattened and domesticated and it becomes a weak echo of the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism. Whereas the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism is all about certitude, privilege, and entitlement this counter-script is not about certitude, privilege, and entitlement. Thus care must betaken to let this script be what it is, which entails letting God be God’s irascible self.
13. The ragged, disjunctive character of the counter-script to which we testify invites its adherents to quarrel among themselves – liberals and conservatives – in ways that detract from the main claims of the script and so too debilitate the focus of the script.
14. The entry point into the counter-script is baptism. Whereby we say in the old liturgies, “do you renounce the dominant script?”
15. The nurture, formation, and socialization into the counter-script with this illusive, irascible character is the work of ministry. We do that work of nurture, formation, and socialization by the practices of preaching, liturgy, education, social action, spirituality, and neighboring of all kinds.
16. Most of us are ambiguous about the script; those with whom we minister and I dare say, those of us who minister. Most of us are not at the deepest places wanting to choose between the dominant script and the counter-script. Most of us in the deep places are vacillating and mumbling in ambivalence.
17. This ambivalence between scripts is precisely the primary venue for the Spirit. So that ministry is to name and enhance the ambivalence that liberals and conservatives have in common that puts people in crisis and consequently that invokes resistance and hostility.
18. Ministry is to manage that ambivalence that is crucially present among liberals and conservatives in generative faithful ways in order to permit relinquishment of [the] old script and embrace of the new script.
19. The work of ministry is crucial and pivotal and indispensable in our society precisely because there is no one [see if that’s an overstatement]; there is no one except the church and the synagogue to name and evoke the ambivalence and too manage a way through it. I think often; I see the mundane day-to-day stuff ministers have to do and I think, my God, what would happen if you talk all the ministers out. The role of ministry then is as urgent as it is wondrous and difficult.
Transcribed from the Mp3 recording of his session. All sessions are available from here http://www.emergentvillage.com/index.cfm?PAGE_ID=42
Brueggmann elaborates here: Counterscript: living with the elusive God
September 13-15, 2004
All Souls Fellowship, Decatur, GA.
1. Everybody lives by a script. The script may be implicit or explicit. It may be recognised or unrecognized, but everybody has a script.
2. We get scripted. All of us get scripted through the process of nurture and formation and socialization, and it happens to us without our knowing it.
3. The dominant scripting in our society is a script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism that socializes us all, liberal and conservative.
4. That script (technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism) enacted through advertising and propaganda and ideology, especially on the liturgies of television, promises to make us safe and to make us happy.
5. That script has failed. That script of military consumerism cannot make us safe and it cannot make us happy. We may be the unhappiest society in the world.
6. Health for our society depends upon disengagement from and relinquishment of that script of military consumerism. This is a disengagement and relinquishment that we mostly resist and about which we are profoundly ambiguous.
7. It is the task of ministry to de-script that script among us. That is, too enable persons to relinquish a world that no longer exists and indeed never did exist.
8. The task of descripting, relinquishment and disengagement is accomplished by a steady, patient, intentional articulation of an alternative script that we say can make us happy and make us safe.
9. The alternative script is rooted in the Bible and is enacted through the tradition of the Church. It is an offer of a counter-narrative, counter to the script of technological, therapeutic, consumer militarism.
10. That alternative script has as its most distinctive feature, its key character – the God of the Bible whom we name as Father, Son, and Spirit.
11. That script is not monolithic, one dimensional or seamless. It is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent. Partly it is ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because it has been crafted over time by many committees. But it is also ragged and disjunctive and incoherent because the key character is illusive and irascible in freedom and in sovereignty and in hiddenness, and, I’m embarrassed to say, in violence – [a] huge problem for us.
12. The ragged, disjunctive, and incoherent quality of the counter-script to which we testify cannot be smoothed or made seamless. [I think the writer of Psalm 119 would probably like too try, to make it seamless]. Because when we do that the script gets flattened and domesticated. [This is my polemic against systematic theology]. The script gets flattened and domesticated and it becomes a weak echo of the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism. Whereas the dominant script of technological, consumer militarism is all about certitude, privilege, and entitlement this counter-script is not about certitude, privilege, and entitlement. Thus care must betaken to let this script be what it is, which entails letting God be God’s irascible self.
13. The ragged, disjunctive character of the counter-script to which we testify invites its adherents to quarrel among themselves – liberals and conservatives – in ways that detract from the main claims of the script and so too debilitate the focus of the script.
14. The entry point into the counter-script is baptism. Whereby we say in the old liturgies, “do you renounce the dominant script?”
15. The nurture, formation, and socialization into the counter-script with this illusive, irascible character is the work of ministry. We do that work of nurture, formation, and socialization by the practices of preaching, liturgy, education, social action, spirituality, and neighboring of all kinds.
16. Most of us are ambiguous about the script; those with whom we minister and I dare say, those of us who minister. Most of us are not at the deepest places wanting to choose between the dominant script and the counter-script. Most of us in the deep places are vacillating and mumbling in ambivalence.
17. This ambivalence between scripts is precisely the primary venue for the Spirit. So that ministry is to name and enhance the ambivalence that liberals and conservatives have in common that puts people in crisis and consequently that invokes resistance and hostility.
18. Ministry is to manage that ambivalence that is crucially present among liberals and conservatives in generative faithful ways in order to permit relinquishment of [the] old script and embrace of the new script.
19. The work of ministry is crucial and pivotal and indispensable in our society precisely because there is no one [see if that’s an overstatement]; there is no one except the church and the synagogue to name and evoke the ambivalence and too manage a way through it. I think often; I see the mundane day-to-day stuff ministers have to do and I think, my God, what would happen if you talk all the ministers out. The role of ministry then is as urgent as it is wondrous and difficult.
Transcribed from the Mp3 recording of his session. All sessions are available from here http://www.emergentvillage.com/index.cfm?PAGE_ID=42
Brueggmann elaborates here: Counterscript: living with the elusive God
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Giving Students The Business
[Here is an oldie but "goodie"; posting it nearly got me expelled]
September 15, 2004
XX SWBTS Giving Students The Business XX
Today the offices of Southwestern seminary were buzzing over letters sent this week to students with unpaid tuition and fees that suggested that if $250,000 in funds were not received that it was probable that five seminary professors would lose their jobs.
Sources in the business offices acknowledged that the letters had created much discussion amongst the staff and that many students had expressed concerns about the safety of their professor’s employment.
This news comes less five months after the seminary trustees approved a budget of $31.5 million, a 2.58 percent increase over the previous year's budget, elected eight faculty members to the theology and educational ministries schools, and elected two new deans. Within the past 15 months, SWBTS has remodeled the presidential house, built a new presidential library estimated at $100,000, and constructed a $3,000 presidential BBQ pit.
This news also follows both a seminary housing rent and tuition increase.
Also, returning students may notice the addition of new multiple flat-screen TVs across campus for watching chapel. They may also notice the new card sliding machines that ensure that students taking Spiritual Formations attend chapel services.
Those close to the Business Administration affirmed the possibility of an era in judgment concerning the wording of the letters. They also stated that the intent of the letters was to remind students that the Seminary suffers corporately when people do not pay their fees.
[Editorial Note: The body wouldn’t suffer; just a few members.]
[PC] has obtained a photocopy of one of the letters sent to a seminary student. After being allowed to check the original letter and verifying the authenticity of the letter with the Business Administration we can now reproduce the letter in full.
SOUTHWESTERN BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY
Business Office
September 9, 2004
Dear XXXXX
We have 1/4 of a million dollars in unpaid student tuition and fees. If we do not receive those funds, it is highly probable that we will have to release five professors from the Seminary faculty.
This is not a threat to you, but a sincere reminder that the Seminary suffers corporately when people do not pay what they owe. Further, it is a matter of ethical and moral significance that students either pay their bills or in the inevitability that it is impossible that they come by the Business Office to explain their situation and to make proper arrangements.
If you believe an error has been made, please contact XXXXX at (555) 555-5555, ext. 5555. Thank you for helping clear up the status of your account.
Blessings,
XXXXX
September 15, 2004
XX SWBTS Giving Students The Business XX
Today the offices of Southwestern seminary were buzzing over letters sent this week to students with unpaid tuition and fees that suggested that if $250,000 in funds were not received that it was probable that five seminary professors would lose their jobs.
Sources in the business offices acknowledged that the letters had created much discussion amongst the staff and that many students had expressed concerns about the safety of their professor’s employment.
This news comes less five months after the seminary trustees approved a budget of $31.5 million, a 2.58 percent increase over the previous year's budget, elected eight faculty members to the theology and educational ministries schools, and elected two new deans. Within the past 15 months, SWBTS has remodeled the presidential house, built a new presidential library estimated at $100,000, and constructed a $3,000 presidential BBQ pit.
This news also follows both a seminary housing rent and tuition increase.
Also, returning students may notice the addition of new multiple flat-screen TVs across campus for watching chapel. They may also notice the new card sliding machines that ensure that students taking Spiritual Formations attend chapel services.
Those close to the Business Administration affirmed the possibility of an era in judgment concerning the wording of the letters. They also stated that the intent of the letters was to remind students that the Seminary suffers corporately when people do not pay their fees.
[Editorial Note: The body wouldn’t suffer; just a few members.]
[PC] has obtained a photocopy of one of the letters sent to a seminary student. After being allowed to check the original letter and verifying the authenticity of the letter with the Business Administration we can now reproduce the letter in full.
SOUTHWESTERN BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY
Business Office
September 9, 2004
Dear XXXXX
We have 1/4 of a million dollars in unpaid student tuition and fees. If we do not receive those funds, it is highly probable that we will have to release five professors from the Seminary faculty.
This is not a threat to you, but a sincere reminder that the Seminary suffers corporately when people do not pay what they owe. Further, it is a matter of ethical and moral significance that students either pay their bills or in the inevitability that it is impossible that they come by the Business Office to explain their situation and to make proper arrangements.
If you believe an error has been made, please contact XXXXX at (555) 555-5555, ext. 5555. Thank you for helping clear up the status of your account.
Blessings,
XXXXX
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Miracle Pastor Too
The oddest thing happened today. The family and I were watching the end of a silly movie called Miracle Dog Too.
I was reading.
In the movie, the owner of a lost dog shows up and I was taken back ... it was my pastor, Ed Young.
My wife and I turned to each other dumbfounded. We gave our heads a shake and blinked our eyes but there he was.
Pastor Ed Young of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas said a line and then the movie changed scenes.
...
It’s somewhat rattling to unexpectedly see your pastor in a movie, even if only for a moment.
I was reading.
In the movie, the owner of a lost dog shows up and I was taken back ... it was my pastor, Ed Young.
My wife and I turned to each other dumbfounded. We gave our heads a shake and blinked our eyes but there he was.
Pastor Ed Young of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas said a line and then the movie changed scenes.
...
It’s somewhat rattling to unexpectedly see your pastor in a movie, even if only for a moment.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
PC's Top Favorite Albums of 2008 etc.
Not to be out-commented by Matt Millsap, I have decided to post my Top Favorite music albums of 2008, including the Top 5 Favorite Albums that came out in 2008 and the Top 5 Favorite Albums I discovered in 2008 regardless of when these albums were produced.
First, in alphabetical order, my Top 5 Favorite Albums that came out in 2008:
Accelerate, R.E.M.
I actually did not possess this album until Christmas Day but I have really enjoyed it. As a moderate R.E.M. fan, I think it is their best album since Monster.
Chinese Democracy, Guns N' Roses
A pretty good album that matches much of what is on Appetite for Destruction but cannot even approach the monumental work on Use Your Illusion.
Still, I appreciate Axl Rose’s work on this folly project even if it should have been much better given the time he spent on it.
In Rainbows, Radiohead
I enjoyed this album even though it is their slightest album since Pablo Honey (ouch!). Of course, a slight Radiohead album is a sole, marble slab in an empty field in comparison with much of the corn stalks that pass themselves off as popular music.
Modern Guilt, Beck
Oh, how I love a Beck album! Beck’s Music, Tom Stoppard’s plays, and Terry Gilliam’s films are what make life in art worth living and worth pursuing. (I had the horrible thought last night about what I will do when these three people die!)
I do not believe that there is a Beck Album I do not thoroughly enjoy. The first time I listened to Mellow Gold back in 1994, I knew that this man was pure genius. It only took the arrival of Odelay to convince the rest of the world of his immense musical gift.
Modern Guilt is a great album but a little hard to get into. His last album, The Information, was the same way. However, I love both albums and simply relish the time I can spend swimming along on the melodies and in between the lyrics.
Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay
Yes, this was a very good album as Matt Millsap will tell you. I am somewhat behind on the whole Coldplay phenomenon, having only listened to their four albums just this year. However, they are really good and are probably destined for permanent greatness. To put them up with Radiohead, Pearl Jam, Bjork, and the REM and the Red Hot Chili Peppers is not a stretch. They are darn good song writers with a fabulous ear for melody. So much so that they make it seem easy.
Now, in alphabetical order, my the Top 5 Favorite Albums I discovered in 2008 regardless of when these albums were produced:
Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan
A fabulous album which was/is a magnificent musical achievement. I quite love Bob Dylan and am only sorry that I did not appreciate him while I was in college. Nevertheless, this particular album is hauntingly surreal with extended allegories, wordplays, and several off-kilter tunes that surprisingly work in spite of themselves. Very much like Beck in that sense.
I do think that is one of the hallmarks of artistic genius – the ability to make the unusual and the relatively unused and make marvelous what no one would ever think possible.
Grace, Jeff Buckley
I had been hearing about this album for sometime now and the lauds it had been garnering from so many great musicians. I must say that I was blown away by it. This is a real gem of an album; amazingly simple but profoundly executed. Again, several off-kilter tunes that surprisingly work. What is even more amazing is that this was a first album. What is devastating is that this was a last album. Buckley died in a swimming accident after this album was released.
There is no taste more bitter than the savoring the absence of what might have been. I suppose this would put him up as the Syd Barrett of Generation X. Of course, Barrett was a musical genius and Buckley only great. Still I have put Grace on my Top 20 list.
London Calling, The Clash
Yes, this is an epic achievement of an album. Every song! When I kept seeing this album on so many Top 500, Top 100, and Top 10 lists, my curiosity was peaked. My first listen through left me generally nonplussed. The second listen led me through a battle zone of thundering rockets going off all around me. The third listen made me a convert. Yes, this album is on my Top 20 list. It really, really is fantastic and something of a miracle of the music world considering from where it sprung. I highly recommend this album to anyone interested in music.
A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay
A very good pop album that’s immediacy is such that I need not go into any further detail.
Sandinistas! The Clash
This is the follow-up album to London Calling and a massive monster of an album. Originally at three-LP, it can be purchased as a double album now.
The album is difficult to explain given its immense profusion of styles and lyrical content. Perhaps the album might have been greater if some of the fat had been originally trimmed down to a two-disc version (like a Harry Potter book) but there it is anyway: the pop music equivalent of the Battle of Algiers.
I mentioned my Top 20 List. I’m always one to publicly support that which is wonderful in art, even when it’s in pop music. Allow me to give that list in two groupings of the Top 1-10 and Top 11-20, both in alphabetical order:
Top 1-10
Abbey Road, The Beatles
Bigger, Better, Faster, More! 4 Non Blondes
Freak Out! Frank Zappa
London Town, Paul McCartney
Mellow Gold, Beck
Mutations, Beck
Odelay, Beck
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, Pink Floyd
SMiLE, Brian Wilson
Tommy, The Who
Top 11-20
Grace, Jeff Buckley
Houses of the Holy, Led Zeppelin
London Calling, The Clash
More, Pink Floyd
MTV Unplugged in New York, Nirvana
OK Computer, Radiohead
The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking, Roger Waters
Purple, Stone Temple Pilots
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, David Bowie
Quadrophenia, The Who
First, in alphabetical order, my Top 5 Favorite Albums that came out in 2008:
Accelerate, R.E.M.
I actually did not possess this album until Christmas Day but I have really enjoyed it. As a moderate R.E.M. fan, I think it is their best album since Monster.
Chinese Democracy, Guns N' Roses
A pretty good album that matches much of what is on Appetite for Destruction but cannot even approach the monumental work on Use Your Illusion.
Still, I appreciate Axl Rose’s work on this folly project even if it should have been much better given the time he spent on it.
In Rainbows, Radiohead
I enjoyed this album even though it is their slightest album since Pablo Honey (ouch!). Of course, a slight Radiohead album is a sole, marble slab in an empty field in comparison with much of the corn stalks that pass themselves off as popular music.
Modern Guilt, Beck
Oh, how I love a Beck album! Beck’s Music, Tom Stoppard’s plays, and Terry Gilliam’s films are what make life in art worth living and worth pursuing. (I had the horrible thought last night about what I will do when these three people die!)
I do not believe that there is a Beck Album I do not thoroughly enjoy. The first time I listened to Mellow Gold back in 1994, I knew that this man was pure genius. It only took the arrival of Odelay to convince the rest of the world of his immense musical gift.
Modern Guilt is a great album but a little hard to get into. His last album, The Information, was the same way. However, I love both albums and simply relish the time I can spend swimming along on the melodies and in between the lyrics.
Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay
Yes, this was a very good album as Matt Millsap will tell you. I am somewhat behind on the whole Coldplay phenomenon, having only listened to their four albums just this year. However, they are really good and are probably destined for permanent greatness. To put them up with Radiohead, Pearl Jam, Bjork, and the REM and the Red Hot Chili Peppers is not a stretch. They are darn good song writers with a fabulous ear for melody. So much so that they make it seem easy.
Now, in alphabetical order, my the Top 5 Favorite Albums I discovered in 2008 regardless of when these albums were produced:
Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan
A fabulous album which was/is a magnificent musical achievement. I quite love Bob Dylan and am only sorry that I did not appreciate him while I was in college. Nevertheless, this particular album is hauntingly surreal with extended allegories, wordplays, and several off-kilter tunes that surprisingly work in spite of themselves. Very much like Beck in that sense.
I do think that is one of the hallmarks of artistic genius – the ability to make the unusual and the relatively unused and make marvelous what no one would ever think possible.
Grace, Jeff Buckley
I had been hearing about this album for sometime now and the lauds it had been garnering from so many great musicians. I must say that I was blown away by it. This is a real gem of an album; amazingly simple but profoundly executed. Again, several off-kilter tunes that surprisingly work. What is even more amazing is that this was a first album. What is devastating is that this was a last album. Buckley died in a swimming accident after this album was released.
There is no taste more bitter than the savoring the absence of what might have been. I suppose this would put him up as the Syd Barrett of Generation X. Of course, Barrett was a musical genius and Buckley only great. Still I have put Grace on my Top 20 list.
London Calling, The Clash
Yes, this is an epic achievement of an album. Every song! When I kept seeing this album on so many Top 500, Top 100, and Top 10 lists, my curiosity was peaked. My first listen through left me generally nonplussed. The second listen led me through a battle zone of thundering rockets going off all around me. The third listen made me a convert. Yes, this album is on my Top 20 list. It really, really is fantastic and something of a miracle of the music world considering from where it sprung. I highly recommend this album to anyone interested in music.
A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay
A very good pop album that’s immediacy is such that I need not go into any further detail.
Sandinistas! The Clash
This is the follow-up album to London Calling and a massive monster of an album. Originally at three-LP, it can be purchased as a double album now.
The album is difficult to explain given its immense profusion of styles and lyrical content. Perhaps the album might have been greater if some of the fat had been originally trimmed down to a two-disc version (like a Harry Potter book) but there it is anyway: the pop music equivalent of the Battle of Algiers.
I mentioned my Top 20 List. I’m always one to publicly support that which is wonderful in art, even when it’s in pop music. Allow me to give that list in two groupings of the Top 1-10 and Top 11-20, both in alphabetical order:
Top 1-10
Abbey Road, The Beatles
Bigger, Better, Faster, More! 4 Non Blondes
Freak Out! Frank Zappa
London Town, Paul McCartney
Mellow Gold, Beck
Mutations, Beck
Odelay, Beck
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, Pink Floyd
SMiLE, Brian Wilson
Tommy, The Who
Top 11-20
Grace, Jeff Buckley
Houses of the Holy, Led Zeppelin
London Calling, The Clash
More, Pink Floyd
MTV Unplugged in New York, Nirvana
OK Computer, Radiohead
The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking, Roger Waters
Purple, Stone Temple Pilots
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, David Bowie
Quadrophenia, The Who
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