The Top 10 Reasons Which Make You Believe That Your New Testament Grader Has Been Watching American Idol

10. He gives you your grade by casting a vote on the phone.

9. He writes on your paper: “You started off kinda rough but you pulled it off at the end.”

8. He asks, “Were you auditioning for ‘Who Wants To Be A Baptist Pastor’”?

7. He writes the following sarcastic, Simon-esque comments about your performance:

- “If your ministry was as a lifeguard, a lot of people would be drowning.”

- “If you would have written this paper two thousand years ago, Stephen would have stoned you.”

- "That was terrible, I mean just awful. Don’t even try to improve; you have to have an inkling of competence to progress. I don't believe you have any hermeneutical competence. You’re completely wasting Cooperative Program money. Sorry."

- "This paper isn't even half over and I have already forgotten the subject matter.”

- "My advice would be if you want to pursue a ministry in God’s church, don't."

- "Awesome! Another paper on Hebrews 6!”

- “Are you drunk?”

6. He advises: “With your hermeneutics you might want to consider Bob Jones Idol next time.”

5. He writes, “Is that your final answer?”, marks it out, writes, “You are the weakest link,” and marks it out, writes, “You’re fired,” and marks it out, and settles on “You chose the wrong pericope.”

4. He writes: "I was wrong. Booze doesn't make this paper better."

3. He writes: "Where's the remote?! For the love of God, where's the remote?"

2. He writes: “Clay Aiken wrote a better paper than this.”

1. He considers the following paper title as an ill-advised subject matter: “Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, grade.”