KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF (PART TWO): Concerning celibacy

Friday, Jul 7, 2006
By Matt Trey Moanial
Baptist Pravda

FORT WORTH, Texas (BP)--References to marriage are frequent in both the Old and New Testaments. The Masoretic text of the Old Testament employs the Hebrew word laqach in the vast majority of cases. A handful of other words are translated “marriage” but not with enough frequency to matter. The Greek term gamos is used predominantly in the New Testament, and coming through Latin is transliterated into English as “monogamy.”

Marriages varied in kind and strength. However, four basic varieties may be distinguished, all of which are described indiscriminately as “marriage”.

1) laqach –“ to take, get, fetch, lay hold of, seize, receive, acquire, buy,
bring, marry, take a wife, snatch, take away”

This form of marriage usually occurs without the assent of one or either party in the decision and, thus, is no longer applicable to the modern believer (Gal 3:28).

2) yabam –“ to perform levirate marriage, perform the duty of a brother-in-law; the duty due to a brother who died childless - to marry his widow and have a son for his name”.

Of course, this form of marriage (like polygamy) was already abandoned by the time of the NT and is no longer applicable to the modern believer (Gal 3:28).

3) `ownah – “cohabitation, conjugal rights”
This form of marriage does not involve a marriage ceremony as such and is more closely aligned to “common-law” marriages. While such practices may continue among Southern Baptist college and seminary students, it is generally no longer applicable to the modern believer (Gal 3:28).

4) ba`al – “to marry, rule over, possess, own”
While this form of marriage is preferred among Southern Baptists, it is also is no longer applicable to the modern believer (Gal 3:28).


THE ATTITUDE OF SCRIPTURE

In strict fairness, one must acknowledge that the ancients, however noble, married without reluctance. Evidently the prophets and the apostles did not view this as wrong, so long as it was with a woman or two and taken with the noon or evening meal. These marriages, of course, were locally produced.

At this point, however, a significant difference exists between what is permissible and what is best for the child of God. In addition to the constant clear identification of divorce as a highly disreputable and debilitating sort of sin, please note the following:

-The consistent promotion of celibacy (Matt 19:10-12; 1 Cor 7:7; Rev. 14:4).

-Negative treatment of family in Mark: 1:16-20, 29; 2:1, 15; 3:19; 4:17; 8:34-35; 9:33, 49; 10:28-30; 13:9-13.

-Negative treatment of family in Matthew: 19:10-12.

-Negative treatment of family by Paul: 1 Corinthians 7:7.

-- John the Baptist, touted by Jesus as “the greatest born among men,” did not marry. He was evidently patterning his lifestyle after that of God, and thereby expressing God’s prescription for what is the best for a godly man. Likewise with Jesus, Paul and Jeremiah. God is not married; how can we be godlike if we are married?

To this evidence must be added Scripture’s numerous warnings against marriage. Here are a few:

“And, behold, there met him a woman [with] the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She [is] loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now [is she] without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) So she caught him, and kissed him, [and] with an impudent face said unto him, [I have] peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. … Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For the goodman [is] not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, [and] will come home at the day appointed. With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it [is] for his life. Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong [men] have been slain by her. Her house [is] the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.” (Prov 7:10-14, 18-27)

“[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” (Prov. 21:19)

“Such [is] the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” (Prov 30:20)

SOME TEXTS TO BE EXPLAINED BY ABSTAINERS

In Jesus’ attendance at the Marriage at Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11), one can affirm with certainty that Jesus did not marry anyone Himself or even make a positive comment concerning the ceremony. But the following evidences cannot be easily bypassed:

-- The text nowhere indicates that Jesus approved. Either way the argument is from silence.

-Indeed, Jesus attended but did not marry (John 2:1-11). Furthermore, He Himself taught that marriage was not the ideal that should be followed by His disciples (Matt 19:10-12).

-Celibacy is the ideal that God wishes upon the believer and particularly those called or seeking leadership positions in His church.

-Indeed, marriage is not God’s ideal because it ends at death and eternity (Rom 7:2, 3).

-It was only introduced by God in order to prevent immoral behavior (1 Cor 7:2, 9)

-Just as God allowed divorce because of the hardness men’s hearts (Matt 19:3-9), so also God allows marriage because of the hardness men’s hearts (Matt 19:10-12).

-- Paul advised the Corinthians to forsake marriage unless they felt they had no other choice (1 Cor 7:1-2, 8-9, 11, 26, 32-35, 40).

“[It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” (v. 1-2)

“I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” (v. 8-9)

“I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, [I say], that [it is] good for a man so to be.” (v. 26)

Paul is reluctantly allowing marriage only for the former pagans whose hearts are hardened and who cannot reach holiness. Though he does restate that God’s ideal is singleness and celibacy.

“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife. There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (v. 32-35)

Paul further states how it is and abuse of Christian liberty for leaders to marry (1 Cor 9:5) and that, for leaders in the church, it is best that they not marry lest they cause a weak brother to stumble by use of their liberty (1 Cor 8:9).


SOME ADDED OBSERVATIONS

-In a world plagued by sexual immorality and failed marriages, the believer needs to set a higher example than the one permitted by the world.

-Problems inevitably follow the introduction of sex and marriage into the believer’s life.

-Such problems include:

• loss of service or even hindrance of service to God
• arguments and strife amidst married couples
• children who rebel
• divided priorities
• spousal abuse
• adultery
• divorce
• single parent children
• widows and widows
• bigamy
• polygamy

Can we marry? Yes. But should we marry? No.

It is better that weak brothers and sisters to marry in this life than to burn in the next.

Can I say it is always a sin to marry? No. Can I say it is almost always ill-advised? Yes, because it violates the biblical principles of holiness and purity.

As a pastor or church leader, would I demand celibacy for church membership? No, I would not. Would I demand it for leadership? Absolutely! The principle of Proverbs 6:24-30 is appropriately applied here,

“To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman [a man is brought] to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent. [Men] do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;”

The following conclusions may be safely and smugly drawn:

(1) Many of the most excruciating and debilitating events of history are associated with sex and marriage. The Bible has almost no good word about it and, in fact, usually associates tragedy and sin with sex and marriage. For example, after a life of exemplary behavior, Noah became a stumbling block to his own children, necessitating a curse on his grandson. If he had refrained from sex and marriage then he would have never been a stumbling block.

(2) To whatever extent Jesus allowed marriage, clearly it was in small quantities and either for weak believers or those who were already married prior to their decision to then leave a holy life and no longer be fornicators. Certainly this was not the ideal for believers. Certainly this disqualified one from leadership. Certainly no tragic institution was supported by marriage. This latter point is crucial for the believer. A believer in no way can justify sex and marriage if thereby he is contributing to the sustenance of an institution responsible for two-thirds of the single parent households, all divorces, adulteries and widows, and untold millions of dollars in lawyer fees. Such would violate all laws in the Bible, and especially the Corinthian principle on the effect of your choices and actions on you: “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful: all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify” (1 Corinthians 10:23).

Let us state three categories -- the prohibited, the acceptable and God’s ideal. After the Fall of man, God originally allowed monogamy. For a while He tolerated polygamy, even working mightily through such men as Solomon and Abraham despite their polygamous marriages. But with the final revelation of God in Christ, polygamy, marriage and sex were once again clearly prohibited. The noticeable absence of any mention of sex prior to Adam and Eve might indicate that men and women, in their pristine state, were not drawn to sex. In any case, the fuller revelation in Christ, plus the development of superior forms of entertainment like Biblical exegesis and expository preaching, render the whole subject passé for the believer.

Even if a Christian wished to demur from the idea that to have sex is sin, strict biblical evidence establishes that marrying is not God’s ideal for the believer. The question then becomes: Can it be anything less than sin for a believer who is genuinely grateful for the atoning power of Christ in his life to pursue anything other than the highest -- God’s ideal -- the best that he can be for Christ?

Unless you have to get married or burn with passion then you are obviously not pastoral material and, thus, God’s ideal.