True Church Typos

This kept us laughing for an hour.

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone
who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about
you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving
obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help
they can get.
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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will
sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will
follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person
you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
are
invited to lunch in the e Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
the
back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please
use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours "